#and I’m sure if either of us were in a situation like jacks then some things just would not matter to us lmao

[soullessjack]

sorry I truly don’t understand how people treat dean not knowing ‘the basics’ for Jack to be admitted to a hospital as some kind of argument for him being a bad father lmao.. Like numero uno he lived his entire life completely independent of any actual medical attention so what the fuck would he know to tell a receptionist and numero dos: the entire episode he is stressing the fuck out about Jack’s condition and anxious to get help for it without all the legal distractions that’s Literally it

[freeabortionslol]

being best friends with the hughes and jack having always been in love with her and everyone knows but her. they finally get together and when jack tell everyone’s no one’s believes him and thinks he joking

okay...so i may have done like way too much plot for this but I honestly cant help myself. i also don't know if this was a request for a fic or a text but I wrote a fic (oops drop it in my inbox if you wanted it as a text and I'll do it)

it's nice to have a friend(jack hughes x bsf!reader)

summary: fluff! pining (from jack ofc), bsfs to lovers, luke being an absolute child, basically jack picking you up on a rescue misson

warnings!! cursing, kissing

wc: 3k

“Y/n L/n drunk and crying on the curb. You’re in your element.” Jack smiled at you out the passenger window from the driver's seat. You had been out with your friends for a girls night. It was supposed to be fun and you were supposed to let loose, but instead you found yourself chasing your wasted friends around all night. You were too busy making sure they wouldn’t do anything stupid to have any fun of your own. When you went to the bar to get a drink you turned around and they were gone. They left you by yourself in the city in the middle of the night, and being scared to ride in an Uber alone, you decided to call your best friend, Jack.

“I’m not drunk, asshole. I’m barely even tipsy.” You got up to stand, walking towards the car door, hopping in with one swift motion. You climbed into the seat, slamming the door behind you, and crossing your arms. Jack’s gaze lingered over you for a moment watching your misery which he hated more than anything. He graced you with an empathetic half smile before turning his hazards off and driving the car back onto the road. 

He sighed deeply, turning the radio down slightly “What happened?” he asked softly.

“Maria and Chloe left me in the bar alone. Some creep was all over me at the bar and I guess they assumed I was good with him.” You sniffled out, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “I spent the whole night chasing them around.” Jack placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. “I just wanted one night of my own to let loose and have fun.” You flailed your arms in the air letting tears escape your eyes. 

“Hey, the night is still young.” You turned your head to look over at him, noticing how perfect his jawline looked through the street lights. “We can still have fun. Luke’s staying with Quinn in Vancouver. We'll hang out just the two of us like old times.” Jack’s words settled in, and you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. Despite the situation, he always knew how to lift your spirits.

You glanced over to him, letting out a deep breath. “Yeah? Sure you’re up for it? It’s already almost one.”

Jack scoffed playfully and squeezed your shoulder. “Of course I am. You’re my favorite person and we can’t have you sad on a Saturday evening.” 

The drive back to the apartment was silent for the most part. You watched out the window, the familiar streets making you feel more at ease. You and Jack walked through the apartment complex in silence, watching as he fiddled for his keys in his pocket. You stepped through the door, letting the scent of the cinnamon candle fill your nose. You felt almost immediately at ease as you flopped onto Jack’s bed, letting his soft duvet entrap your body.

“Get out of my bed.” Jack laughed, pulling you up by your arm.

“Why? I’m so tired.” You pouted, giving him puppy eyes.

“You know the rule, no outside clothes in my bed. No makeup either, you’ll get it on the white sheets.” Jack smiled as he walked over to his dresser, pulling out a devils t-shirt and a pair of boxers for you to wear.

“Nuh uh. Your dick has been in those.” You crossed your arms, glaring at Jack who had the clothes in hand.

“They’ve been washed. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” He threw them over to you.

“Correction, don’t get these Jack Hughes gray Calvin Klein boxers in a twist.” You said, making your way towards the bathroom. You slipped your sweaty black dress off your body, stealing some of Jack’s deodorant before pulling the shirt over your head. You took a moment to stare at yourself in the mirror, analyzing everything that had gone wrong tonight. You felt a small sense of betrayal from your friends as sadness crept up on you. You wondered what kind of friend would leave you alone in a bar with some random man in the middle of the night with no ride home. Jack would never do that, no he would’ve never let the guy get within two feet of you. Suddenly relief washed over you, realizing that you were safe at Jack’s house and not sleeping on the floor of Chloe’s apartment. He wanted nothing more than to make you comfortable, though you couldn’t tell why. You pulled the boxers up and began carefully wiping your makeup off with the neutrogena makeup wipes that Jack kept at his place for you. You started to glance around the bathroom noticing that he kept a lot of things here for you. You always knew they were there because you used them, but you never really took attention to the gesture. You looked down at the sink seeing your pink toothbrush, whitening strips, cerave face wash, and your expensive mouthwash he knows you like. You turned your head to the back of the toilet where Jack had put various feminine products in glass containers. You glanced at the shelves in the shower at your shampoo, conditioner, sugar scrub, shaving cream, and your razor. That’s a lot of things that cost a good bit of money. You thought to yourself, this place screams “I have a girlfriend” do girls not notice these when they come over? Come to think of it, Jack’s never really mentioned girls around you. You knew he had them of course from Luke and Quinn, but you never bothered to ask him thinking it may cross a line. You however, spent endless hours talking his ear off about your male conquests. Guys from work, home, bars, hinge, you name him and Jack’s heard about him.

“You good in there?” Jack knocked on the door.

“Y-yeah i’m alright just finishing taking off my makeup.” You replied, his voice breaking your trance.

“Just making sure you didn’t pass out.” You couldn’t see him, but you could sense his sly smile through his voice.

“I’m not drunk, Jack!” You shouted, kicking the door which resulted in several giggles from him. You wiped the final streak of eyeliner off your face and made your way out of the bathroom. You immediately caught sight of Jack lounging on the bed in his sweatsuit, computer in his lap. He looked up from the screen to subtly stare at you in his clothes. His eyes softening at the sight of you, his shirt fit comically large around your frame, but it was perfect to him in some way.

“Gonna keep staring at me like some fuckin’ weirdo?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

He scoffed, “Sit down, pretty girl.” He scooched over so you could lay beside him, your shoulders brushing against each other as you took your spot.

“No, pretty girl left a few seconds ago when I took off my makeup.” You turned your face slightly to look at him. A smile was already growing across his face.

“Impossible. There’s one looking at me right now.” The two of you held your gaze for a few moments, neither of you sure what to do next. Your heart began to pound as you thought of the possibility of him kissing you. You quickly turned your face towards the laptop screen.

“So what are we watching?” You cleared your throat, your head finding its place to rest on his shoulder.

“Not one of those stupid romcoms you like.” You smacked his shoulder playfully and scoffed.

“You love those movies!” 

“Wrong. I liked Ten Things I Hate About You.”

“So, that's the pick?” Jack groaned, throwing his head back.

“Fine! But no crying.” He started typing the movie into the search engine, clearly pretending to grumble about it. You settled against him, head on his shoulder, letting yourself sink into his skin as the movie started. His arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer, and you tried to distract yourself from the way his thumb absentmindedly traced patterns along your arm. You could feel him stealing glances of you as the movie went on, his head shifting slightly. You felt the warmth of his gaze and couldn’t help to sneak a few back, each one resulting in a smirk or a soft laugh from him. It was enough to make your heart race. As the poem scene began playing, you couldn’t help but let tears fall. You shifted to wipe your eyes, feeling silly but not caring.

Jack chuckled, pulling you in closer, his voice low and teasing “I thought we agreed no crying.”

“Shut up.” You mumbled, hiding your face in his shoulder. “I’ve seen it so many times, but it just gets me y’know?”

He rested his chin on your head, giving you a gentle squeeze. Your heart thudded as he pulled back slightly to look down at you, his face closer than ever, his blue eyes scanning your expression trying to read your thoughts. You felt a rush of courage and held his gaze, feeling the redness rise to your cheeks. Finally, Jack spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Y’know you don’t need makeup for me. You’re perfect the way you are.” You blinked, catching your breath as his words sunk in. He brushed a strand of hair from your face and before you could think twice, you found yourself leaning in to close the gap between the two of you. Maybe it was the confidence of the alcohol, but that had almost entirely worn off. Jack’s eyes flickered with something unspoken as he met you halfway, his lips pressing softly to yours for a lingering kiss. The two of you held the kiss for a moment, his teeth subtly biting your bottom lip gently. His hand moved to cup the back of your head, as yours moved to his arm. The kiss intensified in an instant, releasing every amount of tension that kept it hidden for so long. You both pulled back, foreheads resting against each other, each of you breathless. He stole one last kiss, before pulling away entirely, smiles growing slowly as the realization hit.

“I love you.” He cooed out, his hand still resting on the back of your head. You let out a soft laugh, moving to rest your forehead in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his body.

“I love you too, Jacky.” He quickly moved his hands to wrap around your waist, pulling you in closer to his body, letting the scent of your perfume entrap him. Your legs were tangled, letting yourself drift off to sleep as the tv played softly in the background, neither of you watching any longer. Jack waited until you were asleep before moving you over, so he could spoon you letting himself breathe. He pulled his phone from the nightstand with his freehand to text his brothers about tonight's victory.

Jack: Guys I did it. She’s mine. Told her I loved her.

Luke: Who?

Jack: Y/n

Quinn: HAHA no way

Jack: Yes way

Luke: No. Number one you're too much of a little bitch to ever tell her, two she would never ACTUALLY go for you.

Quinn: As much as I want you to go for it, you never would

Jack: I DID I SWEAR

Luke: Yeah okay pal cya tomorrow

The night was peaceful, you and Jack were wrapped in each other throughout your sleep. The morning light was harsh on your eyes which Jack took notice of, and got up from the bed to close the blinds. You subtly shifted your body onto the pillow at the sense of Jack’s absence. He chuckled softly and moved his way to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. Luke was coming home today with Quinn alongside him. He didn’t expect to have you over last night, but my goodness was he happy about it. Jack began mixing batter in a bowl for the pancakes, letting his mind drag him to the memory of you sound asleep next to him in his bed. He wanted every night to be that way. He glanced over to his door hoping that maybe you would stumble out of his room, but he knew you were tired from the night before. He was in the middle of flipping a pancake when he heard the front door open, followed by the familiar voices of his brothers. 

“Guess who's back!” Luke shouted, walking into the apartment, throwing his bag on the couch. “Ooh! Pancakes!” Luke ran to the kitchen trying to get in Jack’s way, to which he responded by pulling the plate of finished pancakes out of Luke’s grasp.

“Uh uh! Go wash your hands first.” Luke groaned and made his way to the closest bathroom, which was Jack’s.

“You’re such a mom.” Quinn remarked, taking a seat at a barstool. “Funny joke last night, but seriously you need to tell Y/n how you feel. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, it’ll at least stop you from following her around like a lovesick puppy.” Jack slammed the stack of pancakes on the counter, pulling out four plates instead of three which Quinn didn’t take notice of.

“I’m not joking. I actually did it.” Jack scoffed.

“Uh huh sure, and I quit my job last night.” Quinn laughed out as Jack sent him a middle finger. The scene was quickly interrupted by Luke storming out of Jack’s room, running towards the kitchen. “Woah, Luke. Slow down.” Luke was panting, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath from the run he just took.

“There's…A…” He took deep breaths before every word.

“There’s a what?” Quinn questioned, pulling a pancake from the pile onto his plate.

“There’s a girl in Jack’s bed.” He panted out. Quinn’s eyes widened, immediately shifting his gaze to Jack who was smirking.

“So mr I confessed my love to Y/n last night has a girl in his bed?” Jack threw his head down at the stupidity of his brother. “Knew you were lyin”

“WHO DO YOU THINK THE GIRL IS?” Jack yelled, a wide smile across his face. Luke’s mouth dropped immediately, forgetting about the pancakes he ran back to Jack’s room, Quinn following close behind. Luke didn’t think twice before jumping on the bed throwing his body over yours. You awakened in an instant, you rubbed your eyes and looked up to Luke who was wearing a sly smile. 

“Gross Luke. How much axe body spray did you put on?” You groaned out, your eyes still not fully opened.

“No! Gross Y/n. You kissed our brother!” Quinn stated as he moved his way onto the bed, lying down next to you, propping himself up on his elbows. You squinted your eyes, trying to find the strength to keep them open. 

“She’s in his bed, they definitely did more than kissing.” Luke laughed out and you sent him a hit to the shoulder.

“Get off me you asshole!” You pushed Luke off, climbing your way out of the bed and towards Jack's dresser. 

“After all this time I can’t believe he actually did it.” Quinn let out with a chuckle as you pulled one of Jack’s hoodies from the drawer.

“What are you talking about?” You said pulling the hoodie over your head.

“Dude, Jack’s been in love with you since like seventh grade.” Luke shifted his position to the edge of the bed as you turned to face him.

“Are you serious?” You squinted your eyes, crossing your arms.

“Are you kidding? You never knew? He made it so painfully obvious.” Quinn chuckled, throwing his head back slightly. You stood there still processing what Quinn said, your heart pounding at the revelation. Jack had been in love with you since seventh grade? How did you miss that? All those little gestures, every time he was always there when you needed him, the way he’d listened to you talk about every guy you dated, even if you could sense his slight discomfort. It all made sense now.

Luke, still lounging on the bed, watched your reaction with a mischievous grin, “So do you like him back, or was last night just some…experimental sleepover?”

“Luke, stop. It’s- complicated.” You turned your head trying to hide your blush, knowing damn well that it wasn’t complicated. You just didn’t want to have this conversation with Jack’s teasing brothers who just so happened to be your best friends.

“Complicated?! He literall-” Luke started but was cut off by Jack walking in the room looking mildly confused and a bit exasperated.

“Hey hey! Let’s not harass Y/n right when she wakes up.” 

Quinn laughed and stood up, clapping Jack on the back. “Look, lover boy, we're just helping her process the last decade of weird repressed feelings the two of you have. She had no idea how obvious you were being.”

Jack turned pink, giving you an embarrassed smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I wasn’t that obvious.” he mumbled, but you could see a hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

You stepped forward, reaching for his hand. “Actually you might have been, and I…I might’ve been really bad at picking up the hints.” You laughed softly, squeezing his hand, feeling the warmth of his palm on yours.

“Finally!” Quinn groaned out, Luke flopping himself back into the bed.

“Now we don’t have to watch you guys be grossly oblivious to each other anymore.”

Jack rolled his eyes slightly, keeping his gaze on you, a gentle smile on his face. “You wanna go for this?”

“Absolutely.” You nodded, heart pounding with happiness. Jack pulled you into his arms, planting a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Good. Because I wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.”

Luke groaned loudly from the bed, interrupting the moment. “You guys are disgusting. Breakfast is getting cold.” You and Jack let out a subtle laugh before walking to the kitchen, hand in hand.

[ladycaramelswirl]

It Happened in Texas

Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader ❤︎ Chapter 1: Apparently you have a magnet for shitty bosses

series masterlist

A/N: For plot purposes, Haley is not in the picture, but Jack does appear later in the story. Also I gave Strauss some of Linda Barnes’s personality so she’s really annoying :)

Tags/Warnings: mentions of violence typical to Criminal Minds. This becomes a comedy in chapter 2, but chapter 1 is very world/character-buildy, sorry 😭 It gets funnier I swear 🤡

The case in this chapter is loosely based on s3e8.

word count: 2k

Enjoy! 🤍

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

“Absolutely not”.

The dark-haired man tries to rein in his barely concealed anger at his boss, who, honestly, you weren’t exactly a huge fan of right now either. He gestures to you.

“I don’t know anything about her. It’s my job to decide whether someone is a good fit for the team”, he scowls. Frankly, you’re impressed that he hasn’t exploded.

“Agent Hotchner, I have hired her because I think she’s perfectly capable of doing the job”. 

You swallow a scoff. Sure. That’s why.

“My decision is final. And you have a case to get to”, Strauss snaps.

Agent Hotchner glares at her as she walks away. Then he turns his stare to you. 

“We’re leaving for a case in 10 minutes. Do you have your go bag?”, he asks, not unkindly.

“Yes sir.”

He nods and walks towards the BAU bullpen. You follow him. 

“I trust you’ll keep this altercation between us”, he tells you. “I don’t want the team to be distracted”.

“Yes, sir”.

“Just call me Hotch.”

“Yes, s- Hotch”.

He’s being pretty nice given the situation he’s been put in. But you wonder, not for the first time today, if you should have turned down this job.

————————————

15 minutes ago

“Come in”.

You step into the office of the blonde woman you’d interviewed with. She had been quite pleasant then.

“Assistant Director Strauss”, you greet her.

“Agent. Take a seat. I’d like to discuss some things before I introduce you to your unit chief”.

You wonder what the unit chief is like. You’d heard great things about Aaron Hotchner from your former colleagues. 

“As I’m sure you know this position at the BAU is a highly coveted opportunity”, she starts.

“Yes ma’am”.

“I’d like you to be comfortable here, so I hope we can work together to make that happen”.

Oh?

“Thank you ma’am. I’ll do my best.”

“Excellent! I’ll be expecting an additional personal report for all of your cases.”

“I’m sorry?”

She smiles at you like you’re stupid.

“Agent Hotchner might run a tight ship, but it’s my job to make sure it runs smoothly”, she tells you. “So I just need you to give me details about your cases. No need to mention it to Agent Hotchner, just write the report and send it straight to me.”

“You want me to report on the team? Without telling them?”

This was not what you signed up for.

She laughs mirthlessly. 

“It’s just a report agent. Think of it as a … peer evaluation. I just want to make sure there’s no issues. I’m sure you would understand. Especially after what happened in Houston?”

You grit your teeth. Of course she knew.

“Yes ma’am”.

You try to smile.

“I knew I was right to hire you”, she says. 

You both know you’re only here because she was the only one who accepted your transfer request. 

“Agent. If this conversation leaves this room, you’ll have to understand why I can no longer keep you on this team”.

Fantastic. You were already getting threatened on your first day. 

You plaster on a smile.

“Of course.”

She smiles back, just as fake.

“Great. Now I’ll introduce you to Agent Hotchner. You’ll have to forgive him for his … attitude”, she says contemptuously. “He’s going through a rough time”.

And now your boss was moody too? You were regretting come here by the second. 

Strauss presses the intercom button on her phone.

“Send him in”.

The door is opened by a tall, handsome man. He’s maybe in his late 30s, and he’s well dressed. He has authority figure written all over him, but he looks confused to see you.

“Assistant Director?”, he greets. You suspect it’s not often that he’s walked into a situation where he doesn’t know what’s happening. An exception being right now.

“Agent Hotchner, come in. I’d like you to meet Agent Y/L/N”.

He stretches a hand forward and you shake it. 

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise”.

He looks at Strauss. 

“What is this about?”

Strauss looks like she’s holding back a grin. 

“She’ll be joining the BAU effective immediately”.

Agent Hotchner looks like he’s just been handed a bomb.

———————————— 

Present

He doesn’t talk to you at all as you’re climbing into the jet. The team don’t pretend to hide their shock at your arrival. Hotch quickly introduces you and then takes a seat at the back. You politely smile at their wide eyes, but inside you try to fight the urge to turn around and go kick Strauss in the shin. She didn’t even tell them she was hiring you. Unbelievable. This day could not get any worse. The team starts asking you all sorts of questions. Hotch cuts them off.

“That’s enough. Brief us on the case JJ”.

They all follow his directive immediately. A pretty blonde woman who must be JJ hands everyone on the team a file. There’s a pause as everyone realises you don’t have one, because she didn’t know you would be here. A dark haired woman who introduces herself as Emily offers to share hers with you. You smile at her gratefully and try to be invisible as JJ briefs the team. 

—————————

Your first case is in Bridgewater, Florida. A girl has been found with her body eaten by alligators, her fingers cut off and a pentagram carved into her chest. It’s not exactly a great first day welcome. Hotch comes back from the coroner’s office with news that the victim had been force fed fingers before her death. And that none of them were hers, and six of them are index fingers. Remember when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse? This was definitely worse. You wince at the news and Emily looks at you with concern.

“You okay?”

You nod, but notice JJ and Agent Morgan discreetly share a dubious look. The latter turns to face you. 

“Field offices aren’t exactly the same as the BAU. If you’re not up to it-“

“I’m fine. I’d just like to catch the guy that did this”, you tell him. 

You refuse to look weak or feed into the suspicion that you don’t deserve to be here. Morgan stares at you before nodding in agreement and moving away to look over some files. You do the same to avoid any more conversation, and then notice something strange. You pull out a photo.

“This crime scene shows the books the victim was carrying were arranged into a neat row. This specific placement could suggest the unsub was at some point in a mental institution”.

Morgan looks doubtful, but still takes a look. 

Agent Reid springs up. “Of course! When the severely mentally ill are institutionalised, they’re taught to keep things clean and neat to promote order, exactly like the books in that photo!”

You’re a little speechless at his enthusiasm, but it seems his confirmation convinces the team, who now look a little less skeptical about your abilities. They call Garcia to check for names and update Hotch. Garcia calls back about a specific mental institution for a case like the one you’re looking for. Hotch immediately stands up to leave.

“Reid, let’s go”, he orders. The young genius scuttles after him. 

They find a name for the unsub, Floyd Feylinn Ferrel - a cannibal that believes he’s possessed by a flesh eating demon. He was also at the search party earlier to look for a missing girl. The team finds him, but one victim is still missing - Tracy Lambert. Floyd refuses to talk without Father Marks, the priest at his church. They bring him into the interrogation room with Morgan while you and Rossi pore over the sign in sheets from the search party. You frown. 

“Somethings wrong”, you mutter. The older agent looks at you in confusion.

“He signed the volunteer sheet, but not the search team sheet. It doesn’t make sense”, you say, handing him the papers. Usually unsubs joined the search team. Why would he just volunteer to be there?

“Father, I feel so alone. Like God has abandoned me”, Floyd laments. 

The priest shakes his head kindly. “You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us”.

Your stomach drops as you see exactly what Floyd had volunteered for - the food station. 

“We need to stop the interview”, you panic, flinging open the interrogation room door. 

Floyd stares right at you and grins. 

“So is Tracy Lambert”.

—————————

The plane ride back is quiet. You thankfully hadn’t eaten anything at the search, but you still feel nauseous. Is this what all BAU cases were like? Maybe it wasn’t too late to reapply somewhere else? Your unit chief interrupts your thoughts.

“Good job today Reid, we wouldn’t have caught him if you hadn’t noticed the books”, he says. You freeze in your seat, but the younger agent doesn’t notice your discomfort. In fact he barely looks up from his book to correct the unit chief. 

“Actually it wasn’t me that figured it out. It was y/n”.

Hotch looks taken aback and he turns to you, which leads to some awkward eye contact. He looks pained, but he gives you a nod and then moves to the back of the plane. 

Emily nudges your elbow from her seat next to yours. 

“You did good today. He’ll come around”, she tells you. 

“I really didn’t know that no one was informed of my transfer-”, you try to explain, but she stops you.

“I know better than anyone how you feel right now. As long as you do your job and are loyal to the team, everything’s going to be fine”. 

You nod. 

“Look, today was a rough case. We’re going for drinks when we land. Want to come?”, she offers.

You think about the report you’re about to write for Strauss tonight, detailing everything that just happened today. It’s going to take you hours to make sure it doesn’t incriminate anyone on the team. 

“No, I’m tired, but thanks. You guys have fun”.

On the drive home, you realise that you won’t ever be friends with them. You were a spy, even if you didn’t want to be. 

You had come here to escape. Instead, you had just traded one prison for another. 

————————————

Emily enters Penelope’s office to pick her up before drinks.

Penelope greets her with a guilty look.

“Ok. I did something, but don’t be mad. I looked into her file”.

“Pen!”

“What? She’s new, I don’t like new. And we don’t know anything about her. Don’t you want to know how she got hired without Hotch’s approval?”

Emily raises an eyebrow.

“I was hired without Hotch’s approval.”

Penelope gives her puppy eyes and Emily gives in.

“Fine. What did you find?”

The analyst practically lights up.

“Ok, so she graduated the FBI academy with high scores. Went straight to the Houston field office and she was very good at her job - excellent peer reviews and high scores on all of her evaluations”, Penelope starts, putting all of your personal data onto her screen. “Almost everything about her is perfect. Except-“, she clicks on a file. “About two months ago she suddenly requested a transfer to basically every department that was hiring and got rejected by almost all of them. Except ours”. 

Emily frowns. “She has stellar performance evaluations but no one wants to hire her? And why was she so desperate to transfer?”

“Yeah, I thought that was weird too, so I looked into it, but there’s nothing. Except that in her last month at Houston, she isn’t listed on a single one of their cases.”

“None?”

“It’s like she didn’t exist, but she was there every day, I checked her attendance and it’s flawless”.

Emily presses her lips together. She remembers how much she had tried to seal her own history. 

“I don’t think we should be looking anymore. If whatever happened isn’t in the database, then we aren’t meant to see it. She’ll tell us when she’s ready”.

Penelope looks apprehensive, but she closes the files. 

“She’s really nice! And she’s good, she helped us solve the case today”, Emily tries to convince the IT specialist. 

“I’m telling you something is fishy”.

Emily might not say it out loud, but she definitely agreed.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Chapter 2

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

it's not just hair daddy.

Word Count - 2.4k

till forever falls apart masterlist

Jack was feeling overwhelmed as he was standing in his master bathroom, looking at all the products Idris would use for both their children's hair. It didn’t help when he realized time was slipping away from him, and although the kids have been up since 7 am, he hasn’t attempted to get himself or the kiddos ready for the Rangers game he was supposed to leave for in 45 minutes. Jack was supposed to be at the rink in a little over an hour, to take the team bus to Madison Square Garden. The plan was that since today was his day, he was going to give the kids to Idris at the rock and she was going to drive them to MSG in the city. The kids haven’t seen their dad play a game all season and Zander has been begging to go. Despite whatever problems Idris and Jack were having, she would do anything to make either of her children’s happiness. Which today includes going to her baby daddy’s / used to be fiances’ game. 

The only thing that Jack had to do was get them ready, which was fine except for doing their hair. Jack’s anxiety was only rising, his breath picking up slightly as he continued to look at all the different products, bows and hair clips she left for Zola’s hair. Jack decided that he would leave and get both of his kids dressed and then figure out the hair situation. As he leaves the bathroom he can hear Bluey on the tv still playing, and Zola laying on the bed but Zander nowhere in sight. 

“Hi Zozo.” he cues as he picks up his daughter and she giggles as Jack slightly bounces her on his hip. “Where did your brother go?” he asks her, knowing he won’t get a response. “Huh where?” He continues to talk in a baby voice, as he leaves his room and goes to look for his son. He finds Zander on the couch eating some cheerios out of his safe no spill toddler bowl. 

Before Jack can even speak to his son, he hears Luke’s voice from the kitchen. “Dude you're not even dressed. We’re gonna be late.” he scolds Jack. “Oh my god! Neither is Zo. What have you been doing for the last 30 minutes?” The annoyance in Luke’s voice was clear and Jack winced ever so slightly embarrassed his little brother was scolding him. 

“Listen I can get dressed in like 5 minutes okay. I’m gonna get the kids ready and then I will throw on some suit and we’ll leave. We have plenty of time.” Jack says, but he isn’t sure if the words are supposed to bring his little brother comfort or himself. 

Turning towards his son who is still as happy as can be eating his snack that Luke must've gotten him; he says “Come on Z, let’s go to your room and get dressed.” Slightly reaching out his hand that isn’t holding his daughter, gesturing towards his son to take his hand. 

“B-but I wanna finish me snack.” his son pouts. 

“My snack honey, not me snack.” Jack smirks at his son’s grammar mistake. 

“Bro this is not a time for a grammar lesson!” Luke screams from the kitchen which Jack ignores continuing to talk to his son. 

“You can bring it with you, and eat it while I do your hair.” Jack offers and Zander smiles at his sheeming off the coach and grabbing his hand as Luke continues to yell from the kitchen. 

“Oh my god Jack! You’re doing their hair too! Frick we’re definitely gonna be late.”  Luke complains, as he shoves a mouthful cereal in his mouth from his own bowl of cereal. Although Jack appreciates that Luke used ‘frick’ instead of ‘fuck’ in front of the kids he still needs to take a deep breath, his patience with his brother wearing thin.

“Will you shut up!” he yells at Luke as he guides Zander to his and Zola’s room. Originally the family of five was supposed to move to a townhouse so each kid has their own room, but that was before Idris asked for a break. Plus it doesn’t matter if they share a room, they both end up with Jack most nights they are with him anyway. Putting Zola down on the rug, as he goes to Zander’s dresser picking out new underwear for him and two options for pants. “Which pair is black or dark green?” he asks squatting down resting on the balls of his feet so Zander can see both. 

Jack watches his son as he has that slight crease in his brows, and a slight smirk on his lips as he decides what color pants he wants to wear. Jack has a smile on his face, because Zander looks as if someone is trying to teach his little two-year-old brain pre-algebra. “Uhhh green.” 

Jack nods as he helps his son step out of his pajama pants as Zander uses his shoulders to balance on. He goes to help Zander out of his underwear, but Zander protests. “No. Daddy. Only pants.” 

Before Zander can continue to protest Jack changes so he is on his knees as he tries to reason with his son. “Zander. You have to change your underwear. It’s not an option.” Jack’s voice is stern with him. He can tell his son is about to make a dash for the door, so he wraps his arms around Zander as he begins to fight Jack. Zander continues his protests and finally Jack looks his son in the eye and says “okay here is the deal, you change your underwear or you can’t come to Uncle Lukey’s and my game today.” 

Zander has a full blown pout, his hands in fists as he finally says “fine.” Jack takes a deep breath as he feels like he has just got through the worst of getting his kids ready. Once the pants are on, Jack puts a long sleeve shirt on his son and then lets him decide between his jersey that says “daddy” or a devils hoodie. Zander picks the hoodie because “i wanna ma’ch with sissy.”

“Okay now first you eat your snack, then we’ll go do your hair. Okay buddy.” Jack never thought he would be someone who uses “first, then statements” with anyone let alone his kids. But Idris said they should try to use them as much as possible with Z to see if it helps with stubbornness when it comes to transitioning to a new task and terrible tantrums. Jack quickly grabs Zola’s devils sweatshirt which is too big on her still, and some sweats for her. 

“Hi baby. Let’s get you dressed” as Jack finally gives attention to his daughter she babbles happily in response. 

“Da-da” she says.

“Yeah baby that’s me.” he responds as he quickly uses the changing table to change her clothes. “Okay Z time to go.” he says as he lifts his daughter up even though she can walk it’s very slow and Jack is on a time crunch. Zander gets up with his bowl which still is full, ‘how much fucking cereal did Luke give you’ Jack thinks to himself. 

As they pass the living room again, they see Luke again this time fully dressed including shoes and his feet on the table. “Dude feet off.” Jack says as he passes him using his leg to kick Luke’s foot off the coffee table. 

Luke doesn’t even look up from his phone as he says “not to sound like you, but time check we only have 30 minutes left.” Luke mumbles as Jack passes him with Zander following close behind. Jack ignores him, but as soon as Jack is out of sight he puts his long legs out again on the table, looking up and smirking about Zander, quickly motioning for Zander not to tell on him. Zander stops following his dad and starts giggling with his uncle until he hears his dad call him and he rushes off. 

Thankfully Jack left Zola’s bouncer in his room and he places her in it, so starts using her feet to follow her dad. “Not yet Zo.” he mumbles as Zander finally comes into the room. Jack reaches for his son, suddenly picking him up and slightly throwing him in the air causing Zander to squeal loudly. “Okay Z, time for hair.” As he carries Z to the bathroom, he can hear Zola behind him following behind in her bouncer. Jack places Zander on the step he kept in his bathroom so Zander can reach the sink. “Okay ready?” he asks, making eye-contact through the mirror. 

“Mmmhh” his son mumbles as he brings his bowl to his level so he can continue to eat. Jack grabs the bottle of water and sprays Zanders hair. “No daddy.” his son says. 

“What?” Jack asks. 

“That’s not how mama does it.” Zander complains with a huff. Jack takes a deep breath as he places the bottle on the sink. 

“Z I did your hair like this yesterday and it was fine.” trying to reason with his son. 

“No. Gotta use da cream.” he complains. 

Jack tries to gently tell his son. “Baby. That's only when your hair is wet.” 

“NO BABY.” Zander screams at the top of his lungs because Jack called him by that pet name. 

“Right. No baby sorry.” Jack apologizes immediately hoping that Zander won’t go into a full meltdown. 

Sadly, Jack’s efforts went in vain as Zander continued to scream “I WANT Mama.” 

Jack sighs deeply, “You are going to see Mama in less than an hour Z. But the longer you fight me, the later you are gonna see Mama.” 

Zander’s jaw is still locked as he thinks about what his dad just told him, as he mumbles something under his breath for Jack to continue he grabs the bottle again and finishes wetting the baby curls. Jack at this point is rushing and forgets to put the leave in a conditioner that is also a detangler. Zander’s hair doesn’t look long but it is, and in the first couple seconds almost immediately the tears come down his face as it hurts. “I’m sorry honey.” Jack apologizes for using the detangler. 

Despite it not hurting anymore, Zander doesn’t stop his screaming cries. “I waaannttt mommy.” he cries and it hits Jack as if a bad hit on the ice does. 

Jack stops brushing his hair for a second, “I know honey. Deep breath for me okay?” Jack tries to get his son to take a deep breath before he makes himself sick from crying so hard. Jack mumbles something along the lines of “there ya go” as he bends down with a tissue from the sink to wipe Zander’s tears and snot off his face. 

Zander’s lip is still quivering, as he says “it’s not just the hair daddy.” 

Jack breath catches, if he didn’t feel like a piece of shit before he does now at his son’s words. Jack doesn’t say anything to his son for a minute. Until he says“Okay. Well your hair is done. Why don’t you go hangout with Uncle Luke while I do Zozo’s hair and get ready.” 

Zander nods his head as he steps off the stoll, as he passes Zola he says “good ‘uck.” He completely misses the l in ‘luck.’ But the fact that he wishes his little sister luck simply because their dad is going to do her hair makes Jack smile. 

It doesn’t take Jack long to do Zola’s hair, he uses red bow clips to clip two little ponytails. Jack knows that it doesn’t look as good as if Idris did it but it will have to do. Quickly he goes to get dressed and grabs Zola as he grabs the diaper bag, as he goes to the living room. Thankfully Luke put Zander’s shoes on and Jack could hear while he was getting dressed that it was a fight about how he wanted to wear his flip-flops and Luke didn’t want him to. 

“Alright let’s go.” Jack says diaper bag on one arm diaper bag on another. 

“Daddy?”

“Yeah Z” he asks.

“I wanna be carried,” he complains. 

“I can’t carry you with the diaper bag, and Zola.” 

“Oh my god give me the fucking bag I can’t do this.” Luke says, as he locks the apartment door.

“You don’t wanna take Zola?” he asks as Luke practically rips the bag of his shoulder. 

“And risk a Zola meltdown. Naw I’m good.” as he continues to walk quickly to the elevator as Jack bends down to scoop up his son. 

“Are you excited Z?” Jack asks. 

“Yup.” popping his ‘p’ 

Thankfully when they get to the stadium, they are only a few minutes late. Luke grabs the gear from the trunk he already had packed earlier in the day. He doesn’t even try to say bye as he runs to the bus, committed to his promise of “I will not be late because you are shit at time management Jack.” Thankfully Idris is already there and opens the back door to great the kids. 

“Mommy.” Zander shreeks. 

“Hi baby.” she coos, Jack rolls his eyes at the nickname knowing that Zander will only smile at Idris calling him that. 

“Oh I see Daddy did your hair.” she says to Zola and then she turns to Zanders flattened curls “oh and your Zander.” 

“Listen, I tried my best, Iddy.” Jack mumbles looking down at the garage floor feeling shy all of a sudden, as she only giggles at him. 

Jack's cheeks start to feel warm, as he blushes at her. “I know J.” The light pink blush only becomes darker at the nickname. ‘She hasn’t called me that in months.’ he thinks to himself. “Don’t worry I have hair stuff in my bag, I had a feeling.” As she lightly pats Jacks cheek. 

“HUGHES LET’S GO.” Jack turns his head fast, as he sees Coach Shelden yelling for him. 

“You better go.” Idris mumbles. 

“Here.” Jack shoves the remote for his car in her hand. “Take it. It’ll be easier, plus it’s my game you shouldn’t have to pay for gas.” 

“Jack.” the way she sighs his name like she is about to protest. But Jack doesn’t wait to listen; he just starts to jog backwards towards the bus. “It’s yours! Hey you look beautiful I’ve always said red is your color.” and now it was Idris turn to blush but Jack doesn’t see as he turns to run to the bus hoping he gets there fast enough that he won’t have to do bag skates next practice.

[brainddeadd]

young player x devils are so cute🥺🥺

okay maybe she’s sick and jack becomes mother hen and nico is just a very worried captain

Sick Day

It was a rare day off for the New Jersey Devils, but instead of relishing the free time, Jack Hughes found himself fidgeting as he checked his phone for the hundredth time. Yn—his teammate, and someone the boys had practically adopted as a little sister—had been under the weather for the last couple of days, and Jack wasn’t having it.

Jack, ever the mother hen, had texted her first thing in the morning: "How are you feeling? Need anything?"

The response, though, wasn’t immediate. Jack frowned, and Nico Hischier, the ever-worried captain, noticed his unease. “She hasn’t answered yet?”

“No, and that’s not like her. She usually replies right away,” Jack muttered.

“She’s probably just resting,” Nico said, though the furrow in his brow gave away his own concern.

Luke Hughes, Jack’s younger brother, and Dawson Mercer were sprawled out on the couch nearby, equally aware of the situation. They had grown protective of her too. She was the youngest player on the team, and from the moment she joined the Devils, they’d all taken her under their wing.

“She’s tough, Jack,” Dawson said, trying to reassure him. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. Probably just tired.”

“But what if she’s too sick to take care of herself?” Jack shot back, pacing around the room. “I should just go check on her.”

“You’re overreacting, man. Just give her some time,” Luke said, though he was starting to glance at his own phone more frequently now.

Nico sighed, pulling out his car keys. “I’m driving. Let’s go check on her, just in case.”

Jack’s face lit up, while Luke and Dawson exchanged glances, knowing they couldn’t just sit back now either. So, all four of them piled into Nico’s car, with Jack already texting her, "We're coming over."

When they arrived at her apartment, Jack was the first one out of the car, practically sprinting to the door. He knocked, a little too urgently, and the door creaked open after a few moments.

She appeared, looking pale and wrapped in a blanket, but she gave them a small smile. “You guys didn’t need to come over.”

“You didn’t answer, we got worried,” Jack said, his voice gentle but his eyes scanning her face for any signs of distress. “Have you eaten? Drank water? What’s going on?”

Nico gave her a look that could only be described as 'captain mode,' his protective instincts kicking in. “You should’ve told us if you were feeling this bad. Have you seen a doctor?”

She waved them off with a weak laugh. “I’m fine, really. Just a cold. I didn’t want to bother you guys.”

“Bother us?” Luke chimed in, crossing his arms. “You’re part of the team, you can always tell us.”

Dawson shot her a warm grin. “Yeah, we’d rather you bother us than sit here alone feeling like this.”

Jack, already moving around her kitchen, started rifling through cabinets. “Alright, you need tea, something warm to eat, and rest. I’ll make some soup or something.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you know how to cook?”

“Since right now,” Jack said, determined, and Nico let out a small chuckle as he sat down next to her, still watching her carefully.

“You’ll be back on the ice in no time, but until then, we’re here,” Nico said firmly. “No arguments.”

She looked around at the four of them—Jack, hovering around like an overprotective mom, Nico with his captain’s watchful eye, and Luke and Dawson looking just as concerned. It was overwhelming, but in a way that made her feel like she truly belonged.

“Thanks, guys. Really.”

“No thanks needed,” Jack called out from the kitchen. “Just promise me you’ll tell us next time. Now, who wants some terrible soup?”

The room filled with light laughter, and for a moment, she forgot she was even sick, surrounded by her boys—her team, her family.

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling 18 Exposed

Summary- You and Jack find out that someone told TMZ about Jack cheating on you.

Warnings- hints at eating disorders and talk about weight

You and Jack had told your teams that you wanted a minimum of three months where you didn’t focus on work. So when Neelam and Claire showed up at your apartment six weeks in, you knew it was serious. Jack answered the door, letting them in, Maple at Jack’s feet, barking at them. 

Neelam walked in first, looking at the dog then looking at Jack confused.

“Since when did either of you have a dog?” Neelan asked.

“This is Maple, I got her about three weeks ago,” Jack said, picking up the dog to calm her so she wouldn’t wake up Madelyn from her nap that you just put her down for. Even though your managers said it was urgent, you both made them wait until Madelyn was down for a nap, which you were all still getting onto a schedule, but you were able to get her to fall asleep in time.

“I have so many questions, but that’s not what we’re here for. Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s checking on Madi, she’ll be out in a second.” Jack said as the three of them sat in the living room. You walked out of the hallway a few minutes later.

“Hey, what’s going on?” You asked as you sat down next to Jack.

“Someone is contacting TMZ about the cheating story. They are trying to make money off of the situation and all the attention you two are getting right now. We don’t know who it is, luckily I have a good relationship with them, so they brought it to me first, but they are running the story. Who knows about the cheating?” Claire asked.

“Us,” Jack said, referencing to the room, “Urban, Alexa, not many people know, I can’t see Alexa telling, Urban for sure wouldn’t, we’ve kept it very secretive so it doesn’t get out.” You saw Claire’s face go a couple shades paler than she usually was.

“Well, we wanted to warn you two, Claire said the article is coming out tonight, so we wanted to also see if you were willing to do an appearance in a few days. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but some fans are picking up on your relationship being fake, so now with this article coming out, I don’t even know what kind of backlash we’re going to face.” Neelam said.

“Can’t we just drop all this fake relationship shit now? Our relationship isn’t fake anymore, I don’t know why we need to keep this shit up. Why can’t we just live our lives?” Jack asked.

“Because if it was up to the two of you, you would never show your faces in public again?” Neelam teased and Jack opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“She’s not wrong.” 

“Anyway’s, I have to leave, but we just wanted to give you guys a heads-up,” Claire said before saying her goodbyes. 

“I’m staying because I want Madelyn cuddles, but I also wanted to talk to you about Claire. I feel like something’s weird about this.”

“You felt that way too?” You asked and Neelam nodded.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“I mean, for one, she says TMZ told her about the article, but I didn’t get told, no one on our side did. She kept mentioning to me that other people must have known. I really feel like Alexa wouldn’t have told anyone either, she’s not going to get anything but backlash from this. She’s the one who wants to keep this going, I’ve been trying to find ways to get you out of this, but she always shuts everything down. Is it that wild of a thought that the reason she has such a good relationship with TMZ is because she gives them information?” Neelam explained. Even though you hadn’t known Neelam for a full year, you felt more comfortable with her than you did Claire, even though Claire signed you at 16.

“But why would she do this now?” Jack asked. 

“I tried to get out of my contract early? Maybe it’s retaliation?”

“But why would she retaliate against her own client?” Jack asked you.

“Claire and I have never had a good relationship. She’s always acted like my friend, but I know that she doesn’t care. Like, when I found out I was pregnant for example, she didn’t care that I was pregnant, she just cared that I was delaying the meeting. Even after the meeting all she cared about was making sure I didn’t gain too much weight before my upcoming shoots.” Jack reached over and grabbed your hand. “I know she doesn’t have to care about me, and that it’s her job to be focused on my career, but it’s hard to not let that impact me sometimes. I mean, she even has a diet and work-out plan she wants me to start once I’m cleared by my doctor.”

“Don’t you have lawyers to help get you out of your contract?” Neelam asked, you shook your head.

“No, all my lawyers go through her, they are technically my lawyers, but they cover her too,” You explained. “My contract's almost up anyway, it’s okay. I don’t want to quit, I just wanted to take a break, but I’ll just work for a couple of months and then take a break.”

“Get her my lawyers,” Jack told Neelam. “If you want out of your contract, my lawyers can get you out of your contract.”

“Well, they can try,” Neelam cut in, not wanting to promise you anything.

“If they can’t, we’ll figure another way to get you out of it. Why have you not told me any of this?” Jack asked.

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning if there wasn’t anything I could do about it,” You sighed. “And I’ve been dealing with her since I was 16, it’s not like it was like this at the beginning, and I thought it was normal for a while. It wasn’t until I was around the two of you that I really noticed it. You care about Jack as a person, not just as someone who makes you money.”

“The fact that someone can spend so much time with another person and not care about them, is so shocking to me.” You heard the sounds of Madelyn waking up coming through the baby monitor you had placed on the end table. “Can I go get her?” Neelam asked excitedly, she hadn’t seen Madelyn in a couple of days, and she missed her already.

“If you want to change her diaper, sure,” Jack said, before Neelam shook her head.

“I’m okay, I’ll see her in a few minutes,” She said and Jack laughed before standing up and walking to Madelyn’s room, leaving you and Neelam alone.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to help me just because Jack wants to-” You stared talking, but she cut you off.

“I’m helping you because I want to. I know how bad some managers can be at controlling the people they represent, and I’m sure you’re downplaying the situation to Jack because you don’t want him to flip out, but I’ve hated every interaction I’ve had with her, and I can see the way she treats you, and I hate that as well. I think Jack noticed it too, he’s made comments to me about it, but he didn’t want to seem like he was controlling you. I mean, he even only took three months off because that’s all you could get, and he didn’t want it to rub it in.”

“Yeah, but our jobs are different, he has songs that can be released any day, modeling isn’t like that.” You don’t know why you were defending Claire. You had forgiven her hundreds of times for the way she treated you over the years, and you wanted to stop forgiving her. 

As cliché as it sounded, having Madelyn changed you. You knew if someone had treated her like Claire treated you, you would never forgive them, so why did you let her treat you badly and forgive her. Forgiving Jack was a bit different. Your relationship was doing really well over the last few months, and you didn’t want to backtrack on any of the progress you made, but you knew if he ever messed up again, you weren’t forgiving him.

“Stop justifying it. You want a break, that’s a perk of the job. I think time off would do you and Jack good, focus on your relationship, your family. Some things are more important than work,” Neelam said as Jack walked in carrying Madelyn. Jack handed Madelyn to Neelam who instantly cuddled her.

Neelam hung out for about an hour, before she left, you walked her to the door.

“I know Jack likes to fix things, and you like to be independent, but let us try to fix this, okay?” Neelam asked and you nodded.

“Okay.”

“I’m going to do my absolute best to get you out of your contract and you out of your relationship contract. If I can’t, I know Jack will find someone who can. He would do anything for you.”

“I know,” You smiled softly.

"I'm going to figure out who sold the cheating story too."

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128 @christinabae @lafavoritaangel

[bubbleddisasters]

So I saw a cool ship edit with Cater and Che’nya, and that has given me the confidence to talk about my favorite crackship/Rare pair!

(This is pretty long, sorry!)

Che’nya and Idia!

It originally started out as a joke like “Over Powered Cat Boy x Cat Loving Gamer Boy”, but then I realized how actually good they could be for eachother.

Although they never technically talk in canon, they do meet in Glorious Masquerade for like 6 seconds, but I shipped them prior lol.

Basically, Che’nya would be extremely good for Idia in many ways, I hope its not a bother, but I’ll just list my personal ideas!

(Keep in mind that in Alice in Wonderland, Its stated in “Through the Looking Glass” the Cheshire Cat is the second most powerful being, next to the personification of Time, So I envision Che’nya is pretty op, and theres some evidence to prove that but i’m not going to get in to that right now)

Starting off from Idias side:

One: Lets say Idia refuses to eat or care for himself, Che’nya could teleport away his consoles until he does, or teleport the food to him.

Like : “You won’t shower? Gee I wonder where your routers went.” “Won’t sleep? I opened a portal on your gaming chair that teleports you to your bed” “Won’t drink water? Damn, that figurine near the edge of the table looking real pushable right now.”

We also know that Idia has a huge soft spot for cats. Che’nya is most definitely the most cat like person in the cast. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a cat form. So thats definitely some sway there.

Also, if he does or even if he doesn’t have a cat form, he has a big and floofy tail, and if he does have a cat form, I imagine it to be Mainecoon like (since Che’nya is pretty tall and lanky) so free floof to pet/brush when Idias stressed (also A Whisker Away AU?)

Another thing is Che’nyas invisibility: He can be a comfort for Idia without being seen, so Idias less judged for his anxiousness. Like if Idias in a stressful meeting or something in STYX, He can be there to comfort or calm him without anyones notice. Also, If Idias in a stressful social situation, Che’nya can teleport him or them both away, or make them or just him invisible.

Plus, judging from the most definitely self made artwork on Che’nyas pants, I think its safe to say he’s probably an artist of some sort, and I think he’d be more than willing to indulge/read/play/watch Idias recommendations, and maybe draw something for him. (The requirements are either cuddles or Solving Che’nyas riddles three)

Finally, judging by the fact Che’nya casually waltzes through NRCs magic barrier, which took SEVERAL HIGH TECH STYX STRIKES TO CRACK, often enough for Riddle to be able to say “The Intruder” and everyone just knows its Che’nya.

Also, RSA is THE ENTIRE ISLAND AWAY AND ON A GIANT FUCKING MOUNTAIN, so this means Che’nya is very casually teleporting across the equivalent of atleast a small country without producing jack shit in terms of blot, while (from what we can see on his design) not wearing a mage stone.

He’s also been detaching his own body parts, flying, going invisible, etc since age 5, and from Rollos story we know that amount of magic use would indefinitely kill 80% of people, especially a kid, so knowing that, I’m pretty sure its somewhat safe to say if Che’nya got into S.T.Y.X atleast once so he knows where it is, he’d be able to teleport back in and out (the security team fucking hates him and the blot research team wants to experiment on him.)

With that, Idia wouldn’t feel as if he’s trapping Che’nya down there if they were to tie the knot, and gives the possibility of being able to teleport out to shore for in town dates.

On Che’nyas side, Idia is someone who’s very fun once he sort of lets himself go, and god forbid if those two team up on April Fools.

He’s also someone that is already pretty lonely by nature and I find it extremely plausible Che’nya feels slightly replaced by Cater, and although he definitely still cherishes Riddle and Trey, its nice to have someone that you don’t fear might find a replacement.

Also, at RSA, we know he’s good friends with Neige, but because of Neiges fame, that must be hella stressful when you’re trying to hang out and get jumped by fans or paparazzi.

Not to mention Neige is likely very very busy due to the same factor. I’d also wager most people at RSA are not as much fun to him, considering it’s mentioned they always seem to be perfect and pristine at events.

That cycle of semi- perfect paradise like school days would probably bore him, along with the very bland or stereotypical reactions I can imagine his pranks getting.

So we have on one side the stress of being friends with someone in the limelight at all times, and the stress being chased around when you go to visit your childhood friends + being lowkey replaced.

So someone you can pretty much always count on to be available and a dorm that won’t chase you out (probably too anti-social and/or Socially anxious to do so) and is somewhat willing to indulge in your chaos from time to time, or just play games with.

I could also see Che’nya and Ortho getting along very well too, with Ortho being the most aggressive wingman for Idia. Also, if Che’nya gets Ortho in on pranking Idia, it’s going to turn into a prank WAR.

Also, fun idea, Lilia, Cater and Trey being Che’nyas Wingmen.

I like to imagine Che’nya and Lilia are extremely good friends (They call themselves the Pink Bats and Purple Cats Jumpscarers) and since from what we know, Che’nya only has his grandfather, Lilia emotionally adopted him after Che’nya unintentionally fell asleep in his Cat form in the woods and Lilia told Silver to bring him back because “he was concerned about the high magic levels he sensed” and basically did the equivalent of

—-

Silver: “Father, It might not be a stray-“

Lilia, fully aware its a fae beastman : “Finders Keepers :) “

——

Basically this snowballs into Che’nya getting invited into the dungeon runs with Idia, and yea.

Trey’s wingmanning is 40% trying to make sure Riddle doesn’t catch Che’nya, 20% trying to make sure he doesn’t blow up the kitchen trying to make something for Idia, and 40% being the sane consultant of date ideas, making sure Cater doesn’t go overboard with ship posts, and the preventive measurer to the date ideas recommended by Lilia.

——

“Please do not have a sword duel for a date.”

“Nya? I’d be fun!”

“I don’t see why not. I did that with my lovers back in the day. Melanor in her training uniform was quite a sight to behold, Ravaene also looked fine, I suppose. Poor him was always too easy for us to take out however-“

“Lilia, thats uh, not the point. I don’t trust either of them with weapons.”

“Hm? Silver got his first sword when he was 10 or so. Baul and I refereed Sebek and Silvers first real duel when they were…12, methinks? For all Bauls bragging about his grandson, it was my son who won in the end-“

*Camera pans to a very concerned Riddle in the doorway.*

“What kind of a discussion is going on here?!”

—-

Yea, thats pretty much it!

(If you recognize some of the beginning spiel from a comment section on tiktok yes I wrote that and I got mildly lazy and thought past me explained it pretty well so I copy and pasted a few pieces)

[baxteravenue]

HOW TO FAKE IT

pt ii.

summary: when jack and yours management team come together to create a perfect pr relationship you and jack must do your best to keep it as professional as possible... but when you have to spend a year together the lines between real and fake can become a little blurry.

STAGE ONE: Planting The Seed

You could feel the goosebumps rise against your skin as you sat in the cold conference room watching as your manager spoke with a shorter woman, before pointing back at you. You looked away scrolling back on your phone. You knew why you were here, you didn’t really agree to it but he was on a roll in his career right now and he didn’t need anything stopping it soon which is where you came in. 

You were an up and coming singer, you were happy with your fans. You weren't the biggest but you had no complaints. You understood why they wanted this for you, why your label was going out of its way to make you the next Taylor Swift or Ariana Grande. You just didn’t understand why it had to be this way.

“Y/N…” Your manager taps at you making you lift up your head, next to her stands Jack Harlow. “This is Jack, I’m gonna leave you two here to get to know each other and stuff while me and Neelam discuss some stuff.”

You nod, giving her a small smile as she walks out. The room feels warm now, and you can sense the sweat building at the bottom of your back.

“Hi.” Jack says from across the table, he decides to make the first move. 

“Hi.” You respond.

It doesn’t last long because it’s quiet again and awkward, very awkward. 

“Look, I think we should talk and like discuss some things… we are gonna be dating I guess.” Jack rubs at the back of his neck and for the first time you can tell that he is nervous as well. 

“Okay, what do you want to talk about?” You ask.

He leans over, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well first of all are you okay with all of this? I don’t want to do this if you’re not okay with it.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, “This was your idea?”

“What? No.” He shakes his head, “But I’m not against it. I want a Grammy Y/N and there's… Look, let's just say that some people don’t want me to have one. I’m sure you want one too.” 

You did. It was one of your biggest dreams but in order for that to happen you had to do something about it, and the industry was cut throat. 

“Fine.”

“Fine?” Jack smiled.

“Yes, fine.”

He nodded, “I like your music by the way.”

You laughed. “Yours isn't too bad either.”

Your manager came back into the room as the two of you were in conversation, coming up with things you wanted to do and didn’t.

“Ready to do this?”

You and Jack looked at each other, before nodding. 

Within the next week the four of you had multiple upon multiple meetings coming up with terms and conditions that both you and Jack would be fine with. 

“And one last thing, no one can know. Only the four of us,” Your manager starts looking over at Neelam who continues.

“Not even Urban Jack, no one. To everyone else outside this room the two of you are a real couple and you must act that way.” 

You and Jack sign for a year, enough time to get some exposure on his new album that revolves around love rather than his usual fuck boy persona, and so that the audience can put a face to the alluded person and so that you can kickstart a long and accomplishing career. 

You spend the first few weeks slowly getting used to each other. He follows you on Instagram and you follow back maybe two people notice but you don’t get a huge reaction besides a random account getting excited that two of her favorite artists follow each other.

The two of you are steady with texting about random things, wanting to at least become friends before things get more serious for the public eye. Within a month you’re flying out to Louisville to stay with him for a bit. 

“How do you like it so far?” Jack asks as the two of you eat ice cream in his apartment. 

You take the spoon that was full of chocolate ice cream out of your mouth, “Louisville or this situation?” You blubber through the coldness.

“Both.”

“I don’t think we’ve gotten far enough for me to really feel a certain way, but I haven’t been called any degrading names on the internet so I think it’s fine?” You shrug, “And I haven’t seen much of Atlanta besides your guest room and the Whole Foods down the block.” 

“Let’s do something then?” Jack looked over at you.

“Can we?”

“I don’t see why not? It’s already been a month, a little sighting wouldn’t be too bad.” Jack sits up, “Plus there's a place I really want to show you.”

The place Jack wanted to show you was only just a five minute walk around his apartment complex. A park right under a highway that overlooked a river. The moon twinkled over the water, it was really pretty. 

You looked up at Jack, “Do you come here a lot?”

Jack adjusted his hoodie, shrugging. “Not really. Not these days at least.”

“It’s pretty, and close. I think I'd be here a lot.”

Jack looked at you, “I’m headlining a festival they have here in a few months.”

“Really? That’s so fucking cool!” You smile at him.

“It’s pretty nuts, I remember sneaking into it and then when I first got my slot to perform at the smallest stage with a small crowd of mostly people that knew me from high school– Feels unreal still.”

You nod, “I can’t wait to experience that… Don’t get me wrong I love my little fan base so much and I love playing intimate shows where I can really connect with my audience but I also want to experience a crowd so big I can’t even see where it ends.” You nod.

Jack puts his arm around you, bringing you in closer to him and your heart jumps a little surprisingly, “If this goes as planned I'm sure you will.” 

“Oh my god, Jack Harlow!”

And suddenly him wrapping his arm around you makes sense.

JACKHARLOWUPDATES: Jack is currently back home in Louisville!

|

JACKHARLOWFAN: he looks so cutie in that picture

|

STACYGREENE5: hey! that’s me, he was so sweet even if i was acting a bit crazy lol!

|

GAZEBOSTAN: why was he by himself at the waterfront?!

|

STACYGREENE5: he wasn’t! he was with a girl… i’m pretty sure they’re dating bc he had his arm around her!

JACKHARLOWUPDATED: Jack and Y/N in Louisville tonight!

|

USERNAME: wtf 

|

USERNAME1: This is so random

JACKMANTWTAS: Y/N is credited as a writer on multiple albums, including Mac Miller, so I’m sure they’re working on something together.

|

USERNAME: if it’s true, i’m sure this will be his best album bc she helped mac with swimming when she was only 17

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

of course

***Spoilers for the Stitch summer event below the cut!***

Of coooourse Azul and Floyd jump on the opportunity to extort their classmates while they’re stranded on a deserted island 😭 Such an Ursula moment when Azul asks the group what they’re willing to do to be rescued… 😭 Not Floyd suggesting they all be Octa’s errand boys until the end of time 😭 AnD NOT hIM CALLiNG AzUL NICE FOR LOWERInG iT TO “just” A WEEk???? 😭 Why are fish like this—

This is even funnier when you look back at Birthday Union/Jacket vignettes, where some characters are asked “If you could bring one person with you on a deserted island, who would you choose?”. Of the 6 characters featured in Lost in the Book with Stitch, Jack is the only one who was asked this question. He at first says he can survive on his own, and though he eventually provides Epel as his answer. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT??? Jack also states in the interview that he would not want to be stuck with anyone in Octavinelle because “they seem like the types to ask for compensation whenever they have to do something” 🤡 Which. Isn’t far from the reality they’re now experiencing…

Addendum: In Jack’s Labwear vignettes, Floyd asks Azul if they can “keep him”, as though Jack were a stray dog. Again, Floyd’s affinity for dogs reappears in the Stitch event, where he doesn’t want to hand Stitch over to Gantu.

Other related points from Union Birthday/Birthday Jacket vignettes (the other 5 were asked “if you could pick any student from NRC to be your sibling, who would you choose?”): Ace would pick Azul to essentially get free stuff I bet he’s regretting his decision right about now, eh, Floyd would pick Ace so Ace can take the fall for him in sticky situations why do I suddenly have a bad feeling for what’s to come, and Lilia would pick… FLOYD 😂 because Floyd is mischievous, challenges people, and keeps surprising him with unexpected things… Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure plenty of “unexpected things” are going to happen, whether the boys like it or not 💦

On a more serious note, I do find it interesting that we get formal confirmation that merpeople in human forms need to remove their clothes before returning to their true forms. (This was always assumed before, but was never explicitly brought up in scenes where they actually had to revert back, such as book 4, Vargas Camp, and the first Halloween event.) However, Azul and Floyd say that the Beachwear clothes must be magic because they can’t be removed. I’m assuming either it’s unsafe to revert while still wearing clothes or the magical clothes just prevent them from bursting out of it a la Vanessa to Ursula in The Little Mermaid:

It’s also implied that their human forms are not suited for swimming long distances (or at least they are not used to swimming long distances in human forms yet)?? Which makes me think their anatomy and physiology must become entirely human when they drink their usual transformation potion??? Like, I’m assuming there aren’t gills on their human forms (because they’d serve zero purpose) which could hinder swimming as a human. (For that one scene in book 3 where Azul joins the group at the Atlantica Museum, I always assumed he just drank one of those “breathing underwater” potions he gave out earlier in the book!)

Side note: thanks to this event for gatekeeping us from potentially getting a peak at Azul’s non-OB octomer form/j 🙄

[gothidecorem]

Not Alone

A Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x reader comfort one shot

1362 words

A/N: I’ve been dealing with waaayyyy too much the past few days and needed to get my emotions out somehow. The way I see it: big bad horrible Navy man dies, I need sweet ray of sunshine Navy man to swoop in. I used the gif of his dress whites because besides the fact that he’s adorable in them, the only time we see him in his blues is…

I also included the scrapbook pics I mentioned at the end of the story.

TW: mentions of abuse, allusions to sexual abuse, generational trauma, grief. Most of the story is under the cut.

About face

“He will truly be missed”

Present arms

“Your grandfather was a great man”

…military honors…

“He sure loved to be in the cockpit of a P30”

Fire

It was all starting to become too much. The pavilion was feeling 100 times smaller with each passing second. Everyone had something nice to say about him which made you wonder if you had fallen into an alternate reality. In your reality, he was none of these things. He was a horrible man.

“He was a father who cared deeply, and could be strict at times.” You mean when he threw your mother to the floor in front of her siblings? When he would… No, bite your tongue, now’s not the time.

“He showed up to all of the boys’ football games, when he could.” Of course you were hearing this second hand but as far as you knew, he didn’t show up for jack shit. Maybe he went to your cousins’ games but otherwise he was too self-centered.

Hearing all of these things massively contradicted everything you had known about the man. It contradicted all of the trauma he caused for your mom and aunt. If anything, this man should have won an Oscar for how well he hid all of the smarmy shit he’s done in his life. One of your cousins was beside himself because he didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t have a relationship with the man either and he didn’t know how to process it. But with him being 13 years younger and not quite old enough to learn all of the family trauma, you try your best to console him but feel like you fell flat when he needed you.

The entire situation was suffocating and you needed some air. Finding a spot on the far side of one of the cremation walls, you collapse. Just needing to somehow catch your breath. Taking in your surroundings to ground yourself; counting the trees, counting the birds, closing your eyes and pretending you just don’t exist for a few moments. That was, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, your eyes locked onto another set that were all too familiar.

“I was wondering where you ran off to.” Tom said, sitting down next to you.

“Careful, don’t mess up your uniform.” You say, wiping away some tears.

“I’m more worried about you right now.” He says, giving you a look. Having known Ice as long as you have, he knows most of the story about why you don’t have a relationship with your grandfather. You could even see him trying not to make a face during the ceremony.

“Aside from the lies and finding my pictures in his photo album yesterday, I’m-“

“I’m sorry, you what?” the world seemed to slow when you heard the tone change in his voice from concern to anger.

“My pictures. He had pictures of me from when I was 3, 6, and 7 or 8 in his scrapbook. I couldn’t even explain the feelings that have been swirling around in my head since then.” Other than the fact it made you want to vomit.

“Do you know how he got them?”

“No. Neither mom nor I know how because she sure as shit didn’t send them to him. He even had a newspaper clipping from my grandparent’s anniversary announcement. I mean, I get at one point they were in laws but it doesn’t make it any less disturbing.”

“On the bright side, it’s all over. You don’t have to worry about running into him anymore, having to hide your daughter from him anymore, it’s done.” He says, standing up. After brushing his uniform off, he offers you a hand, helping you up from the ground. “Speaking of which, where is she?”

“She’s off, running around with the cousins.” As soon as you say that, the 4 kiddos came racing around the corner.

“What’s eating at you?” Tom asks, looking down at you noticing the far off look on your face again.

“The same question that’s been playing over and over again in my mind since I was about her age…” you say, pointing at your daughter.

“You’re not disposable. I promise. You’re worth more than you realize.”

“It definitely doesn’t seem that way. My grandfather used & abused my mother and treated her like scum therefore I didn’t have a grandfather. My dad thought that life was better 3 hours away and he finally had sons instead of a daughter, so I’m more or less an afterthought. My ex thought making up some whack job story about how he was kidnapped by men with guns was the proper way to get out of the relationship instead of talking to me about what was going on in his head. Both of them also deciding their relationships with my daughter wasn’t important either. No one ever stays, they always leave.” At this point you were on the verge of tears and holding them back was about to not be an option. Before you could even muster another thought, a strong set of arms pulled you in tight.

“Look at me.” Tom said, pulling an arm away so he could lift your chin up to look at him. “You are not responsible for any of their actions. None of that is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for them not knowing what they had and lost. Not everyone leaves. I’m still here for you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“You say that, but the other shoe is always waiting to drop.” Before you could say anything else, your full name was flying from his mouth.

“I’m. Not. Going. Anywhere.” He emphasized every word. At this time, Ron rounded the corner.

“Hey, I was wondering where you two ran off to.” He said, then noticing the tight squeeze Ice currently had you in. He gave you both a knowing look.

“And besides being stuck with me, you’re stuck with this one as well.” Tom said, smirking.

“I’m like glitter. Just when you think I’m gone, POOF, there I am.” That garnered a giggle from you.

“I love you both, I truly do.” You say, side hugging the both of them.

“One of us, maybe a bit more than the other.” Tom joked, placing a kiss on your cheek. Ron scoffed, playfully.

“I can’t believe you’d question my love for her. I’d protect her like she was my own-” Tom, living up to his callsign, shot Ron an icy glare. Ron, living up to his, tipped his hat and slid his way out of the conversation.

“Is this your way of asking me out, Kazansky?” You ask, playfully, but blushing at the same time.

“Not the time or place, darling. But, if you’d be up for it, maybe I’ll officially ask when we’re out of here.”

“While I enjoy the thought, there’s a little someone you might need to get permission from first.”

“TOM!” you hear your little girl yell at the top of her lungs, just now realizing he was here. She ran over and practically jumped into his arms.

“Hey kiddo! You probably didn’t recognize me in full uniform, did ya?” he asks as she grabs his hat and places it on her head.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” You say, as he readjusts your daughter to sit better on his hip and using his other arm to wrap it around your waist.

“Mom, I’m starving.” Your 5 year old says.

“Since it’s a long drive home, yes, we can stop and get food.”

“Sounds like you’re taking me up on that offer.” Tom whispers in your ear.

“Zip it, Kazansky.” You say playfully, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“GET A ROOM!” You hear Slider yell across the parking lot. Whipping your head around to say something, you look back and see that Maverick & Goose have already taken care of it for you, simultaneously smacking him in the stomach.

You didn’t know what the future held, which terrified you. But in the present? You had your daughter, you had Ice, you had your friends, and that’s all that mattered.

The scrapbook pics I found:

It’s been a couple days and the feeling still makes me massively uneasy. But, as stated, he’s gone. I don’t have to worry about him anymore.

[toreii]

Lost in the Book with Stitch part 3

Disclaimer: This is a fan translation. I apologize for any mistakes. I’m by no means fluent in Japanese, but I try my best. Please, support the official translation when it comes out.

…The sound of waves?

What happened?

Uninhabited Island - Beach

Grim: “Funaa…..”

Grim: “Ngh……what happened…?”

Everyone: “Uugh…”

Azul: “Where…are we…?”

Jack: “It smells unfamiliar…”

Ace: “Ow…what happened?”

Riddle: “Grim’s weird book…ugh, I can’t remember.”

Floyd: “It sounds really familiar to me…”

Lilia: “What the, it’s so bright…”

Everyone: “…………”

Everyone: “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!?”

Yuu:

“What happened to your clothes!?”

“That outfit suits you!”

Ace: “You’re one to talk! You’re in high spirits!”

Ace: “…Wait, I’m also dressed differently!?”

Riddle: “Jack, what’s with that flashy look? Sloppy. Fasten that shirt properly!”

Jack: “Riddle-senpai also looks risky! You even have flowers around your neck.”

Floyd: “Ahahahaha! Azul, those sunglasses are super suspicious! They really suit you.”

Azul: “I do not want to be told that by you. People avoid you when you look suspicious walking down the street.”* (T/N: I’m not sure about this second line.)

Lilia: “Wha, what happened…?”

Lilia: “Yuu! What’s going on with me right now? Am I at least cute!?”

Yuu:

“It’s rather cool.”

Lilia: “W-What the heck…this is a big deal. Will the course alter from here on out…?”

“It’s really cute.”

Lilia: “Well then! I’m relieved.”

Grim: “Why is everyone dressed like they’re having fun!?”

Grim: “Ace is more chatty than usual. You’re so cheeky!”

Ace: “Haa!? I’m not usually chatty!”

Ace: “I don’t want to be told that by some guy wearing a bright red, patterned shirt!”

Ace: “Look closely, Yuu and Grim. We stand out when we line up together.”

Jack: “Hey…we were all wearing uniforms up until a moment ago. When did we change clothes?”

Riddle: “Perhaps by someone’s magic. However, I don’t remember anyone casting magic.”

Floyd: “Aside from the clothes, where is this place?”

Floyd: “We were all in the library…”

Floyd: “…No matter how I see it, the sea is right in front of us, right?”

Azul: “That’s right…the scent and sound of the waves is unmistakable. It’s really the sea.”

Lilia: “This isn’t the shore of Sage’s Island, either.”

Lilia: “Look at the flora around you. The trees and grass are tropical.”

Ace: “That means…this isn’t even Sage’s Island let alone the library!?”

Jack: “How did our clothes and the place turn out like this? I’m lost.”

Floyd: “Uh-huh. The last thing I remember was Baby Seal-chan opening up the book with the mirror.”

Floyd: “The book suddenly flashed and was enveloped in light.”

Grim: “Yeah. It was really bright!”

Lilia: “It’s hard to believe, but…it seems that this whole situation is because of that mysterious book.”

Floyd: “So then, that means the book brought us to this place?”

Lilia: “I can’t think of anything else. It’s reasonable to think so.”

To be continued…

[purity-the-one]

The Joining of Another

OOC: This is Part Two of "The Fall of Purity and Pyxis", so please go read that first before coming here if you'd like context. Otherwise, feel free to continue!

TW: Angst, Religious Themes, mentions of death

Purity gulped and nodded, calming down their nerves. Their voice mostly returned to its mono-tone state, but there was still an edge of nervousness and concern as they spoke. “Alanixians weren’t always so… uniform as I made them. We used to be a species of hunters and predators. In our planetary system, we were essentially top of the food chain. We didn’t think any better of it, just running off of animalistic urges. Some of us weren’t as blood-thirsty, it was quenchable with enough hunting or affection surprisingly enough. What is it that you call them… canines… dogs yes. We could be trained like dogs. But there were still a handful of those that called themselves the “higher Alanixians”. Both Thirteenth and I are a part of the true Higher Alanixians. And we are the only two. The others who brandished themselves as “higher Alanixians” were simply ones who wanted to keep the bloodshed, the violence. In the three thousand and eight hundred years that I ruled, there had only been twelve to stray from my teachings of purity, unity, and grace. However, Unity and Grace changed their titles to Serenity and Equality. Out of fear of us returning to our old ways, I had the twelve executed publicly, and Thirteenth was the last one we attempted to execute. I spread the word that the highest unity one could achieve as a pack of hunters, was to remain exactly the same. To brandish ourselves as a singularity. Only two didn’t fall for this, I brandished them as Gods despite being normal themselves. But the twelve who began to show emotion were not given chances. They were executed, as I am sure Pyxis told you.” Purity explained calmly, clearly not having any regret for their actions, they would still stand by what they’d done. “But if Pyxis is exhibiting these behaviors, it means that they will likely have these behaviors for the rest of time and space.”

“Okay, so obviously you don’t believe people can change. Isn’t that fucking great. You know, you’re going to blend in just great with a specific group of people here on Earth, and that isn’t a compliment.” Scraps huffed, still holding Pyxis in his lap as he returned the pendant back around their neck, running his hands through their matted and knotted hair. “News flash, Purity. It isn’t all black and white. Which is exactly why the Ruby Suns were created. We’ve been having Alanixians flooding here either to get revenge on Pyxis, or to join the Ruby Suns. We are two-hundred strong now. And you called me high priest earlier. Unfortunately you’re correct.” He continued, shifting as he kept holding Pyxis in his arms, staring at the muzzle. “This isn’t a good look. Why are you here, Purity?” Scraps growled slightly, not exactly pleased with this whole situation. “Ruby Suns… I suppose that name will do. Let us say I’ve had a… change of heart. I no longer wish to make myself an enemy. I’d been hoping that the Thirteenth would be willing to accept my own change, but they attacked before I could speak. How is it that you’re controlling them like that, High Priest?” Purity still kept their distance, but seemed interested. “I’m not controlling jack shit. Maybe if you weren’t a fucking ass-wipe, Pyxis wouldn’t jump you every time you took a breath. They’re actually quite affectionate with others. This is… the first time I’ve seen them this bad. And I’ve seen a lot. Not that you need to know that though.” Scraps gruffed, his eyebrows furrowed. “And use my name. Names are celebrated on Earth. It’s Scraps.”

“High Priest is a title and a name, however if you so desire that I call you something, I suppose bug will do. Now then, bug, take me to your followers. These Ruby Suns.” Purity stood up, dusting off their clothes. “Fuck you and fuck no. I do what Pyxis says, not you. You want to be a part of them? You start as a member. Not as a God. You learn human nature, you learn to control your emotions, and you learn to be not a piece of shit. Then we can talk.” Scraps stood up, carrying Pyxis in his arms still. “Take it or leave it, Purity.” Purity blankly stared at Scraps, clearly not expecting the sass or any of what he’d said. But they didn’t argue as they stood back up. “If that is what it takes, very well then. I will be a part of the commons, bug. But the moment I can become a God again, you will be my High Priest as well.” “In your fucking dreams, Purity. Get out of those clothes.” He opened up his pouch and threw a set of clothes at Purity, a white and red plaid flannel, jeans, and a plain white undershirt. “How do you get the muzzle off?” Purity barely caught the clothes and stared at them before snapping their fingers and instantly changing into the clothes. “The muzzle? Oh, yes that will come off automatically once they’re no-longer blood-thirsty. It runs on their emotions. Once they’ve calmed down, it will disappear.” “Wow, you are a bitch. You better pray it does, otherwise Pyxis is going to cut off your head and play soccer with it. Now get the fuck out of my sight. I’ll find you in a few days. Go figure your shit out the hard way.” Scraps waved his hand and dismissed the other God, standing in the center of the gold stained ground. Purity silently blinked and turned on their heel, walking off in the opposite direction towards the road they’d come from, disappearing for the time being.

[aziraphales-library]

hello lovely mods!! this blog is amazing, i really appreciate how hard you work. do you know any fics where crowley is just really possessive/protective over aziraphale?

Hi! We have looooads of fics already recommended on our #protective crowley tag so make sure to check those out. Here are some where Crowley is more possessive...

Oh, not again by HolyCatsAndRabbits (G)

"Now, why ever would you insinuate that I might possibly do something about the fact that there is a man hitting on my husband?"

Know Your Worth by MyFirstAndLastVow09 (NR)

Crowley spends his days with his angel, helping him (or mostly lounging) Aziraphale in the bookstore, having lunches, dinners, etc., with him. In general, life after the Notpocalypse was going, in Aziraphale’s words, tickety-boo.

Until, a certain archangel decided to make a appearance.

In Crowley’s opinion, fuck that guy.

Long Live the King by StarlightPhoenix (M)

During the stand-off against Satan, Adam had done something. Satan never returned, and Hell had no King.

Beelzebub had no choice but to go to Crowley, Serpent of Eden, and offer him the Throne.

Crowley had no choice but to accept, knowing it would keep him and Aziraphale safe.

All hail the Serpent of Eden.

Surpassing All the Stars by KannaOphelia (M)

There was a faint tracing of scales along the woman's cheekbones, tracing down her thin arms and lean thighs. The nipples on her pale, almost flat breasts were dark as night. Fiery red curls fell over dagger-sharp shoulders sprayed gently with more black scales, and the golden eyes were wide and snake-like. The woman was beautiful, but hardly human.

"Crawly," the woman said with disgust. "Was that the best you could do, angel?"

"I said I didn't have much imagination." Aziraphale's lips were heavy, and she was almost sure she wasn't forming the words properly. There was some kind of spell over her, holding her almost immobile. The venom must have been paralytic. If she had been human, she supposed she would have been dead. Her corporation didn't like it much either. "What name would you prefer I use for you?"

The stranger tipped her head on one side, considering. "Crowley?"

Aziraphale almost laughed. The whole situation was simply too irritating. If she was to die now, at the hands of some local deity, the paperwork hardly bore thinking about. And her precious work on Sappho's poetry, gone.

"Crowley, then. You're a nymph of some kind, I take it?"

Dark Water I: Dark Story by UnproblematicMe (M)

Anthony J. Crowley lives the careless life of a rich man’s son. A jack of all trades, he has tried his hand in many jobs, but nothing could hold his interest for a long time. So it’s not unusual for him to take a new job because of a cute blonde guy who needs his help.

Aziraphale Fell runs a Youtube Channel with his friends Anathema and Newt. When they need a new camera man, he accepts the offer of a handsome skeptic he meets at a party. Specialised in ghost hunting, Aziraphale has seen his fair share of strangeness. But things are about to get much stranger.

Waking Up Married by Caedmon (E)

"So you’re telling me that my options are either to convince this man I just met and drunkenly married to stay married to me for six months or lose two thirds of a billion pounds?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Fergus said.

“Fucking shit,” Crowley spat.

He hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment before rubbing his eyes with his fists. Now his job would be twice as hard. He needed to talk Aziraphale into staying married for six months. Should he try begging or bribing? This was a huge ask, and Aziraphale would be well within his rights to tell Crowley to fuck off. But Crowley was prepared to offer him pretty much anything, up to half of the trust, if that’s what it took. He didn’t care.

But that was only part of his concern. Even if he got insanely lucky and Aziraphale agreed to stay legally married to him for the next six months, how the hell was he going to talk Aziraphale into dating him during that time? And was it foolish to even try?

One thing at a time, he decided. First, he needed to convince Aziraphale to stay legally married to him. Then he could set about wooing his husband. He hoped.

- Mod D

[empresstheresa-guide]

Theresa and Steve, a love story for the ages.. part 3 B

Recap: Theresa has been dating Jack for a few months. She doesn’t actually care about him and has no long term plans. But one day, she walks into Jack’s room and finds he has a hometown girlfriend he never mentioned to Theresa. Humiliated, Theresa goes into her room to wait for Jack. She puts on an extremely short sexy dress to taunt him.

Steve walks in instead and they share a passionate kiss, despite never interacting before. Theresa then tells Jack’s girlfriend Ginny that they weren’t compatible anyway, and she feels bad for Ginny who is only a waitress. 

BUT all of this was scrapped. Norman wrote three completely new versions, so let’s look at those. 

VERSION 3

This version begins with Theresa donning the ”little black nothing dress” again, so I won’t rehash it. Check part 3 A. 

”It was now nearly nine o’clock and I was near tears.  There was nobody around here who cared for me. There wasn’t one person I could walk up to and call ‘friend’ to their face.”

The more I quote from the book, the more it stands out that Norman often uses the same word twice in one sentence. It doesn’t really matter what time it was, you can just say the evening was wearing on and you were near tears. (Norman also loves exact numbers with distance, time, age etc.) I think the quotation marks around ”friend” are unnecessary, since ”friend” is not a nickname or euphemism, but that’s a minor point. 

Steve enters the room again.

”He walked up close to my desk and said, “Ginny is Jack’s hometown girlfriend.  They’ve been seeing each other for years.  She was supposed to show up next week but she came early.”

      So.  It was going to be all over anyway. 

      “Did you know about her?”

      “No. None of us did.”

Norman actually considered the fact that a Good Catholic Boy wouldn’t just let Jack have two girlfriends, kudos for that. But how does Steve know Ginny was supposed to come next week then? Norman has also changed the punctuation. I think the lonely ”so.” sounds off, but I like it better than the exclamation point. 

This is the last you’ll hear of Jack and Ginny in this version. No more compassion for the lowly waitress.

”Have a seat.”  I indicated the bed.  He sat down on the edge of it.  We looked at each other.  I must have looked pretty sad after a miserable evening.  I sensed that he was aware of how lonely I’d been, but somehow I didn’t mind his knowing.”

I guess this makes sense, she doesn’t mind being vulnerable in front of him. But the way it’s phrased isn’t great. He’s not some psychic for realizing she’s sad. It would be expected in this situation. 

”Anything going on in the dorm?”  I suggested.

       “There’s an all night card game.”

What about all the homecoming week activities mentioned earlier? 

  ”     I heard about the boys playing cards all night.  You would think something exciting was going on, but all they did was throw cards around.  There was no intelligent conversation possible when all you did was look at your cards.  Why did they do it?”

My theory is that Norman walked in on a card game, and everyone fell silent because no one likes him, and they just wanted him to leave. So now he thinks that playing poker is just people silently staring at the cards. 

”  He glanced at my legs.  My hemline was practically up to my hips when I sat down.  Nothing excited boys more than a shirt skirt.  Bikinis didn’t do as much. ”

Who needs a bikini if your dress is THAT short? 10 inches above the knee is basically a bikini when you sit down.  

”  “You’re quiet, Steve.  Something on your mind?”

      “Yeah. I’m trying not to think about what I might see.”

       “I’m wearing a thong.  You won’t see anything but my hip.”

       “And a nice hip it is, I’m sure.”

Oh Norman. Do we really have to talk about Theresa’s underwear? Isn’t she sexualized enough already? I just don’t understand this dialogue, either. If she’s wearing a thong and a 10-inches-above-the-knee dress, then Steve would pretty much see everything. And the dialogue is inorganic too, who would ever say that about her hip? 

I can just imagine Norman sitting alone in his sad little room, staring at his Windows ME computer screen, trying to come up with romantic dialogue for 17-year-olds. I feel kind of bad for him, but as I always remind myself, he’s a complete douchebag who treats everyone like trash. 

  “You’ll get used to me soon, Steve.  We have to get over this awkward moment.”

More unnatural dialogue. Nothing makes a moment more awkward than stating that it’s awkward. They never talked to each other in private before, so it’s bound to be awkward. 

So Jack doesn’t come to Theresa’s room, nor do they go downstairs to deal with the situation. Theresa and Jack are just over and she’s ready to move on with Steve. Good Catholic Girl(tm).

”The feelings of an eighteen year old boy in this close encounter weren’t hard to guess.  I felt safe. There was no way he was going to try to take advantage of me like some boy who would keep trying to get something that wasn’t his right.”

Steve has a giant boner. But if she’s supposed to be with Jack, is it his right to even be there? 

”Anyway, I could throw him out the window.”

I do kinda like this sentence. I wish there was more HAL and her superpowers in this chapter, because it seems unlikely that she would just ignore that whole part of her life. How about if she suddenly did something with her super strength? Or if Steve/Jack noticed she gives off heat? 

Next, Theresa decides to show Steve a TV series about Queen Victoria. More on that later.

VERSION 4

This version is identical to version 3, except the whole ”a nice hip it is I’m sure” thing is left out, and instead Theresa notes:

”I stood up and reached for a deck of DVDs high on my bookcase. Steve must have had a great view of my backside.” 

This is at least better than that awful dialogue, but Norman manages to sexualize Theresa again. Why doesn’t she just change clothes, if the dress was only a way to get back at Jack? Clearly Norman wants Theresa to be as sexy as possible, and it’s gross.

VERSION 5

And now for the worst, most stinking heap of them all. Prepare to hear Theresa’s and her Dad’s thoughts on a film from the 1950’s. 

”I waited a few minutes. There was no knock on the door.  I sat on the bed and turned on the television.”

And here, the action screeches to a halt (ha, I almost wrote HALT) while Theresa watches TV. 

”They were showing the early part of “The Caine Mutiny”.  I’d seen it before.”

If a 17-year-old girl turned on the TV and a 1950’s movie was on, she would instantly change the channel. It could work if this was a hobby of hers, like she's an old timey movie buff who prefers old stuff to new teen movies. But that's not how it comes across here. Norman wants us to know what he thinks of the movie, so it’s included, even if it makes no sense whatsoever. 

Unless there's some deeper connection between "The Caine Mutiny" and this story that I'm missing here. If you can think of something, I'd love to hear it.

” Captain Queeg was a paranoid personality who couldn’t take adversity.  It made him a dictator on the ship.  He made his men miserable with his inflexible demands.  Later,  there would be an ultimate crisis,  a monstrous typhoon that threatened to sink the ship.  That’s when the Captain lost it and his chief mate Maryk took over the ship on the grounds that the Captain was nuts.  As a reward for his courageous saving of the ship, Maryk was put on trial for mutiny.”

I'm not familiar with the story, so I don't have a lot to say on that. I will say that by Norman's standards, this isn't too bad. In fact, it's fairly coherent for him. But I'm confused by the verb forms here. We start with "was" and "made", then there "would be" a crisis, that's when the Captain "lost" it. It's a bit of a mess. Also "the captain was nuts" just sounds dumb and doesn't go with the style of the paragraph.

”My dad who’d been in the Navy read the book and said half of it was about a love story between Ensign Keith and a girl who wanted to be a singer.  Eventually her career took off and she left the Ensign.  Dad guessed that this boring love story meant something to the author, but it dragged down the book.  The movie producers wisely dropped the singer’s story and concentrated on the mutiny. It worked because the chief mate’s willingness to sacrifice his career to save the crew was a very effective love story of sorts.”

”Dad guessed”… that phrase alone should have told him this isn’t a good idea. At least have Theresa herself read the book. I just cannot imagine a situation where a teen girl listens to her dad talk about a 1950’s movie/book, and then later recounts his opinion on it. She’s writing this 600 years in the future, too. She wouldn’t even remember what her father said, unless it was very meaningful for her life.

Here’s the thing about her dad: all we learn about him is that he was in the Navy. This was already mentioned in chapter 1. He has one indirect line. ”He said I had to be the captain of my ship, but sometimes the seas would be rough”, which again relates to him being in the Navy. That’s his whole personality. He’s like a cardboard cutout with a navy uniform. Imagine your daughter writing an autobiography and only mentioning your job. I would be crushed if I were her dad. See also her sister Catherine, whose only quality is being less smart than Theresa. If your family is so close knit and loving, you need to express that in some way. Every relative would hope to be in the book, and they’d all be so disappointed they didn’t make the cut, and instead Theresa talks about some boy she doesn’t even care about. Norman, of course, never considered this. 

Back to the story, I’m definitely not surprised Norman thinks love stories are boring… and he says that while trying to write one. You need to read a lot if you want to be a writer. Norman thinks he can just write the best thing ever, without doing any research. It’s like he’s building a house, when he has never seen one in his life. 

”   I noticed something similar in a book called “The Robe” which my grandmother gave me.”

Oh god. Instead of getting on with the story, Norman digs out another musty old book. 

At least here, Norman had some inkling that maybe a teen in 2017 wouldn’t have read a book published in 1942. So fair save with the grandmother, but it’s still unlikely that Theresa would have cared about the book this much. 

” It was written by a Methodist minister who filled it with quotes from the Bible.  It was a spectacular bestselling book in World War II when the world looked like it was falling apart, but it would probably bomb today. ”

How does Theresa know what the world was like post-World War II? 

” In the Hollywood movie starring Richard Burton, all the Bible quotes were dropped, and they concentrated on the conflict between Burton and Caligula.”

I assume Burton is the name of the actor, while Caligula is the name of the character. Norman doesn’t really explain the story, but hey, who hasn’t read ”The Robe”? It’s one of the big ones, right up there with ”Harry Potter”. Every young person loves ”The Robe”. 

Norman gave more of a recap on the story of ”The Caine Mutiny”, but this book is much more obscure, and he doesn’t even bother describing it. 

” But Burton and his girl marched off to martyrdom from a more dramatic Emperor’s throne room scene than was in the book.  Sometimes subtle messages work better than speeches.”

If I was more dramatic, doesn’t that mean it was less subtle? 

”    That’s how I operate.  I could have criticized Jack in front of his friends for dating me without telling about Ginny, but I said nothing.  I let people think it out for themselves. ”

Well, it was pretty obvious to everyone. Norman is trying to force a connection between his story and this review of two very old movies, but it doesn’t work. Theresa not confronting Jack is just bad writing. If she’s so subtle and says nothing, why even include the story in this book? She could have ignored Jack altogether, they dated for like a month and she didn’t care about him at all. Obviously she wants the readers to know how she was wronged by Jack, but that ruins this whole point. She’s furious and nonchalant at the same time. It doesn’t make sense. 

” The movie ended with the Caine sailing back out to sea.  Ensign Keith was the only officer of the original crew left after the devastating trial.  ”

Just when you think it’s over, they pull you back in. 

”  The next movie was one of those horrible made-for-TV -walking-dead movies. I couldn’t stand them and turned off the TV.  The problem with that trash is it didn’t address an individual’s decisions in life.  It was insulting to avoid challenging the viewer’s ideas as if his ideas didn’t matter. ”’

That last sentence just reads like world salad to me. And thanks for that opinion too Norman, what a scintillating chapter about Theresa’s love life. 

Zombie movies - ”The Walking Dead” being only one franchise - are usually about humanity and the collapse of society. What kind person would survive and how would it change them? What would I be willing to do to survive? It’s thought provoking. Maybe Norman has only ever seen one really bad zombie movie. But this is all consistent with his baseline of scorn and belittling other people’s work, while admiring his own. 

Does Norman think ET addresses people’s decisions in life? Of course he does.  

”At least in ‘The Caine Mutiny’ you were challenged to think whether you would have the courage to take over the ship like Maryk. If you were a real thinker, you’d consider why the Navy didn’t look into the circumstances of the monsoon scene before rushing into putting Maryk on trial. Apparently nothing had been said before the trial.”

Oh man, I feel like this will never end. Your character is having a crisis and all she can think of is ”The Caine Mutiny”. If it was at least a teen movie about cheating, it would make some sense. Have her ponder on Team Edward or Team Jacob. (Since some of this was written in the early 2000’s and also I’m old and can’t think of a more recent example, but almost anything would be better.) 

Of course, Norman isn’t ”a real thinker” by any stretch. Those questions could be asked in a high school English class. 

”I stared at my roommate’s wall.  There was nothing to do and I was milking my loneliness.”

You could go downstairs and confront Jack. That’s something to do. Theresa loves to wallow in self-pity, this will be a theme later in the book. 

” People who never went to college believed it was one continuous party. In fact, parties were rare […] College life was mostly studying and killing time with inane activities.  It was a test.  If you could stand this life for four years you could stand anything. A lot of kids went nuts and dropped out.”

She just said a few pages ago that there were lots of activities on campus that weekend. I thought Norman liked Boston College and specifically wanted to advertise it in this book, but here he depicts it as mind-numbingly dull. 

”  After half an hour moping on my bed I moved to my desk and resumed moping. ”

I love this quote. She’s moping, quits for a second, and then resumes moping.

” The truth was I was desperately lonely.  I thought of going downstairs to see what was going on, but after the scene in Jack’s room my loneliness would be too obvious. I still had a little pride.  It was amazing how quiet it could be on the girl’s floor.  That was another thing people got wrong.”

How would Norman know how quiet or loud it is in the girls’ dorm? 

I actually sort of feel for Theresa.. until Steve walks in again.

This part follows the earlier version, where Steve explains the Ginny situation. There is, however, a new addition:

 “You’re quiet, Steve.  Something on your mind?”

      ‘Yeah.  You want me to leave?”

      “If you leave now I’ll have to kill myself.”

      It took a few seconds before Steve got the joke and laughed. The ice was broken and we each had that little smile of people comfortable in their situation.”

That’s a joke?? Suicide is a joke? Wow, Norman. This book is supposed to have a positive message and provide a good role model for readers. So girls, just remember that if things are awkward, you should make jokes about suicide! 

Jack is still technically her boyfriend and nothing has been resolved. How are Theresa and Steve already comfortable together? They haven’t even really talked to each other before. We know they haven’t, because if they had, Norman would have written a long description of it. 

”Next came planning the night’s campaign.”

They sit in her room and watch DVDs. It’s not like she’s running for office. 

”    I stood up and reached for a deck of DVDs high on my bookcase.  The DVDs were of the famous BBC production series ‘Victoria’.”

Apparently, Norman realized the note about her backside wasn’t appropriate. But the ”Caine Mutiny” bit was still worse. 

”Victoria” is actually an ITV show. Norman probably thinks BBC is the only broadcasting company in the UK. The show came out in 2016, so we can assume this happens in ca 2017-18. Were DVDs still a big thing then? Streaming services were already available. Although I guess if you lived in the US, you were unlikely to have British shows in your streaming services. Maybe it makes sense.

”An eighteen year old girl becomes queen of England and the British Empire.  Everybody wants something from her. She survives eight assassination attempts. You wonder how a teenage girl got through it. You wonder if you’d have the nerve to take on what she did.”

Laying the foreshadowing way too thick here. We get it, Theresa has to take responsibility at age 18. She tells Steve what he will think of the show, before they even start watching it. Theresa and Steve often work as a hivemind who has the same ideas of everything.

”Victoria’ was made for the English who already knew the story. It was very complicated with rapid changes from one subplot to another. I had to explain the characters and their motivations.  Steve seemed interested.”

He was probably just thinking of her dress and thong. It’s also oddly random that they start watching DVDs instead of going downstairs and dealing with Jack. It’s almost like he never existed. 

British people on Twitter confirmed that they do not, in fact, already know everything about Victoria, so the show couldn’t be that obscure. I wonder if Norman saw one episode and couldn’t really follow it. 

”We both marveled at the responsibility the girl took on.  She could have withdrawn in her castle and ignored everything going on in the world. She went out to be seen by the people despite assassination attempts and made heavy decisions like sending a band of traitors to Australia instead of letting them being drawn and quartered. ”

That last sentence desperately needs some punctuation. This is one of the most boring chapters, half of it is just recounting old shows and historical events. I preferred the version where Steve passionately kisses Theresa out of nowhere. It was bad but at least there was a story. 

”Her uncle was next in line if she abdicated.  He did maneuvers to bring this about. The girl queen told him, “I have made mistakes and perhaps I will make more, but I’m a better monarch than you could ever be.” I wondered if I could do as well at her age.”

He makes the same point again! And it wasn’t even subtle the first time. Norman clearly sees no difference between Victoria, who was an actual queen and a real person, and his fantasy ”Empress” Theresa, who only exists in his head. She’s not even a real empress, they just call her that for no reason. Well, at least ”Victoria” didn’t come out in the 1950’s, and is slightly more relevant to Theresa’s story. 

THE GRAND FINALE 

We’re near the end now. Forget about the part where Theresa and Steve go downstairs. This time they stay in her room all night. This ending is the same in versions 3-5. 

”We took two breaks during the night to go downstairs and get little snacks out of the food machine. Some people saw us at two a.m. which was sure to start rumors. By daylight we were giggling from fatigue.”

She’s OK with rumors.. more on that in a bit. Imagine watching DVDs all night, with the other person explaining every detail while you’re watching. I would have fallen asleep at some point.

” We went to breakfast. I was still wearing my little black nothing dress which stood out at breakfast.”

Two sentences ending in ”breakfast”. 

Why does Theresa act like this? It’s like she wants people to gossip. 

 ”It was obvious from our demeanors that we’d been up all night. Girls gave us the eye. I didn’t care. Let them think what they wanted.  We hadn’t done anything we couldn’t tell our parents.”

Theresa doesn’t care about her reputation.. but later in the book, she says she kept herself clean, because she knew one day she would be world famous. In a story where government agents spill confidential information to other nations, she doesn’t worry about other students telling the press about this. It would be a scandal. Good Catholic Girl dated two boys at the same time! 

”Nosy girls filled our table and asked what we did all night.

      “Nothing” I said.

      “Surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, Theresa!”

Great writing there with so many rrrrrrrrrrrrrr's. It's like a teenager's writing. "OMG I loveeeeeeee this song!" Norman will occasionally use inappropriate numbers of letters or punctuation to make a point. e.g.

”There must have been a lot of panic.  ‘Theresa Hartley’s plane is missing!!!!!’ 

And if you're going to use it, it should be "suuuuuuuuuure", not "surrrrrrrrrrrre". Norman never sounds out his dialogue.

Back to the scene:

      Steve joked, “The video is on YouTube”.

For once, Steve’s joke isn’t that bad. Norman has heard of YouTube, I’ll give him a point for that. He did get upset at KrimsonRogue and said that KR would soon be forgotten, while ET would be known forever. 

But why is Theresa so OK with people gossiping about her? She herself makes nasty comments about ”bad girls” in the book, and puts herself above them. These are mostly in the old versions. 

Chapter 1 (older edition):

”A lot of people said I was the girl who had it all together or my story would have been very different.  Perhaps it was because of what I didn’t do as much as what I did.  I tried to be a good girl. 

I had good parents.  By the time I was ten they convinced me I should get myself through the school years without drug or boy problems.  There are girls like that, you know.  You wouldn’t think so to look at the news.  I find it strange that people are interested in news about troubled girls, but don’t want to associate with them.”

But by this definition, isn’t Theresa a ”troubled girl” now? She’s taunting boys with an extremely short skirt, and spends all night in her room with a boy, even if she doesn’t actually have sex with him. Even sitting right next to him in your sexy thong-dress is something a Good Catholic Girl would not do. What would her parents think of it? Norman’s obsession with sexualizing Theresa, while still presenting her as some kind of pure Madonna figure, just backfires.

Chapter 8 (older edition): 

”In college I heard talk of a girl who had four intimate boy friends who knew about each other and what was going on.”

So they had a consensual poly relationship. I guess in Norman’s head, that’s as bad as cheating on someone. 

”A couple of other girls took a vacation in Barcelona, Spain where young studs waited for American girls at the airport.  The girls had wild orgies where nobody knew them, and when they got back home they could pass themselves off as virgins.  This was not the conversation I wanted to be part of.  I didn’t have steamy sex stories about myself like many of the girls.”

Girl reading ET: ”Mommy, what’s a stud? What’s a wild orgy? What are steamy sex stories?”

I’m amused at the idea of Spanish guys waiting for American girls at the airport. There are plenty of beautiful young girls in Spain. But I digress. The point is that there are ”bad” girls and Theresa clearly looks down on them.. but she ruins her own reputation with no care in the world. It’s not a ”steamy sex story” per se, but if everyone assumes she had sex with Steve, she’s right up there with those ”bad” girls.

This is one big issue with the book: Theresa often does not live according to her stated values. She just does whatever and we’re supposed to support her, and not only that, but admire her. She’s a good girl, despite wearing a 10-inches-above-the-knee dress to arouse boys, and walking around in that dress at breakfast. She seems to be reveling in her own beauty and sexiness, which is not a very likable trait, and makes it harder to relate to her. 

And then the conclusion of the story. 

”We suddenly had lots of friends. An attractive couple was invited to everything.”

Was Jack unattractive then? We never did get any description of his looks. At least he didn’t have red hair and glasses, like Jeff Winslow. 

Theresa makes two jabs at Jack later in the book, when she gets rich. It shows how petty and vindictive she is. In case you didn’t know, she’s also very greedy and hogs natural resources to make ludicrous sums of money. 

Chapter 14: 

”Total sales of my gold and silver reached more than a billion dollars a week and was climbing fast. This might taper off after a while, but in less than a year I would be richer than some small countries.  Theresa calling Jack.  How are you doing with Ginny?”

Chapter 16: 

”Corporations were already blabbering about all the things they could do with the metal.  Within a month I was a billionaire.

      I wondered what my old BC boyfriend Jack Koster was thinking of all this!”

Norman either forgot he already said this, or he thinks it’s such a great point, he should mention it twice. It makes Theresa look so bad. She didn’t even care about Jack, it’s her ego that’s bruised, and if she didn’t let this go in 600 years, she never will. Even if she’s happily married with her soulmate and has 420 children. (Yeah) She can’t help but remind Jack of what he lost.. even if their relationship was never meant to last anyway. 

Part 4 will feature Norman’s discussion of their relationship. If you want something romantic, you will be disappointed. It’s mostly reiterating over and over that they’re sooo compatible and that they waited for marriage. 

[twstinginthewind]

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: Spoil something that either is going to blindside your OC, in-story. Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In: What is something your OC would do/strive for, going beyond the limits of rational fear? Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY: What is something your OC is insecure about? Do they take any steps to hide/remedy it? Um, It's Kind of a Lot: (For Shipping) If your OC has an S/O, what is something in their relationship that they are afraid of (behavior, scenarios, etc)

For Punch and Jon! Aha!

Ahaha indeed!! Prompts from here, and my apologies for taking forever to answer!

Punch:

Dr Sunshine: Punch is most likely going to be absolutely knocked off-balance by the events of book two, most likely because as one of the few athletic members of Ignihyde, he’s going to end up getting hurt in Leona’s plan to take out the competition. It’ll especially hurt when he finds out that it was Ruggie, who he has grown to trust and admire, who brought him down. It’ll take a while to rebuild that trust in his upperclassman…

Hand me my shovel: Punch is incredibly protective of his loved ones. If he were to see his sister or his close friends in danger, he would put aside his own need for safety and rush in to be the hero. Granted, a lot of his friends aren’t really the type who would necessarily want him to step in (i’m especially looking at you, Jack and Epel), so a situation where they wouldn’t be in a position to protest? You know the stakes would be high.

Skeleton appreciation: He’s insecure about a LOT of things. His size, not really fitting in with the vibe at his dorm, feeling like he’s always falling behind, like he’s too old-fashioned, like if he tries to change for the sake of all of this everyone will know he’s just faking… so he hasn’t really done anything about them, due to that last bit.

Um…: (only going with one potential ship here, bc we haven’t got all year) Punch lives in fear of the day that Vil is going to tell Epel that he’s not going to be allowed to hang around with such an unsightly, oversized, unfashionable excuse for a person.

Jon:

Dr Sunshine: it’s a very minor thing, but he’s in open-mouthed shock watching the SDC simulcast and finding out that Jamil Viper can RAP. Wow. That’s… that’s really cool, actually…

Hand me my shovel: The North Woods, where Jon hails from, is a very poor community, in stark contrast to some of the fancier places within the Shaftlands. Jon’s used to being someone who follows instructions and lets other people take the lead. But he’s going to put that second-banana aspect of his life aside when it comes to helping make his community prosper - I can see him putting aside his distaste for authority and running for public office, even, in his quest to make the North Woods safe and comfortable for everyone that lives there.

Skeleton appreciation: Jon is well aware that, as one of the few non-beastman members of Savanaclaw, he’s always going to be sort of an odd man out, and possibly have a target put onto him. It never occurred to him before enrolling that he might ever be insecure about what species he was. But for now, he just makes sure that anyone who messes with him about being a human ends up flat on the ground - thank you, judo lessons.

Um…: Despite being one of my handsomest (in my humble opinion), dear Jon doesn’t really have much in the way of romantic entanglements. He might have flirted with Savvy’s older sister once, but his competition there is a literal prince, so not much has come of that. Let’s get him a partner and see what neuroses we can give him!

[xxx-inhibitionless-xxx]

Chapter 50 : Day Three ( Chad & Brad part 1 )

 Brad had offered to give Chad a ride home since he lived in the opposite direction than Alex was taking Matt, and Mark was staying at the house to bring Aaron home once he woke up. Jason and Lisa, likewise were going in yet another direction, but Brad didn’t really mind anyway, he rather took a liking to Chad, or Stick as the brothers were all calling one of their newest honorary frat brothers.

 He, Chad and Aaron, or Nudini, Brad chuckled to himself as he recalled Aaron’s new moniker, had endured a hellacious evening with all of them ending up naked and he and Aaron bound in various fashions, but nonetheless , the three of them considered their adventure a somewhat positive bonding experience.

 He had even gotten the impression that Chad may have actually enjoyed some of it. He definitely got the impression that Chad was gay and even fancied Aaron, but he wasn’t going to press that issue since he also picked up on the fact that it was not necessarily a reciprocal situation.

 Brad also realized that except for the helplessness, he too actually enjoyed some of the exhibitionist thrill that resulted from their encounter with Emmett and the fact that he had essentially forced the three of them to streak out of the school and drive home naked.

 So admit it Stick, Brad addressed Chad as they drove along, you enjoyed it didn’t you ?

 Enjoy what, Chad replied more angrily than he had meant and definitely more aggression than Brad had anticipated, getting tricked by Emmett into getting glued to one of my best friends, jacking him off and revealing that I have the hots for him ? Then getting my clothes cut off proving that I liked to go commando because I have an exhibitionist streak ?

 Maybe that I finally felt like somebody cared enough to teach me how to drive a stick-shift ? Well actually, Chad relaxed a bit noticing the look of apprehension on Brad’s face and realizing Brad was referring to something else entirely, I kind of did like that part, he confessed glancing over at Brad.

 Well, A, Brad responded, I’m glad you liked the part about learning to drive, I’m glad I could teach you. You picked it up quite naturally, almost as if you were born to handle a stick, a grin spread across Brad’s face as he said looking to see if Chad picked up on the innuendo.

 Seeing a grin appear on Chad’s face Brad knew he could continue feeling that Chad was relaxing a bit. B, he continued his explanations, no, I wasn’t trying to offend you and imply you enjoyed getting played by that freak Emmett. C, on the other hand, I was kind of going for the thrill seeker bit, but no, I didn’t know for sure about the exhibitionist part until you just brought it up.

 Chad started to worry again feeling he may have overstepped the limits of his new friends’ acceptance.

 Noticing the look of impending doom creep across Chad’s face, Brad quickly reassured him, Stick, man, don’t sweat it. It’s totally cool, you, he said emphasizing the word, are one cool dude so don’t even think that just because you like going commando means anything.

 If you happen to recall, Brad continued, I got suckered in too and oh, I wasn’t wearing any underwear either, remember ? So don’t worry about it. Plus, we’ll deal with that freak Emmett later, Brad assured him, no way am I letting a little dweeb like that get the better of us, so don’t worry about him and if you enjoyed any of it, then enjoy it, nobody will think any less of you.

 In fact, just the opposite, Brad confessed, because you weren’t the only one. Chad was momentarily puzzled at Brad’s confession but then soon acknowledged the realization of what Brad was implying and felt a wave of comfort and acceptance wash over him.

 So Brad, Chad asked with a hint of mischievousness, do you think we could do another driving lesson ?

 Brad was glad that Chad was beginning to not only lighten up a bit, but seemed to be coming out of his shell as well. Sure thing, Stick, he replied to Chad, I think that would be a great idea.

 Cool, Chad said as Brad pulled off the road into a vacant parking lot for them to switch positions, but can we do it like we did last night ?

 Brad couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Chad’s request, you want to drive around naked ? You really are the little exhibitionist aren’t you ?

  Thinking that he had crossed a line and that Brad was somehow disgusted Chad recanted, no, nevermind, forget I said anything.

 Oh no, Brad wasn’t about to let Chad off the hook that easy, you want to learn to drive naked, then that is exactly what we are going to do. Switch places first, though, then you can strip off. I don’t want to be getting naked outside in the middle of a parking lot.

 Chad could barely contain the thrill of what he was about to do and was practically beaming with excitement that Brad had implied that he wasn’t just going to let Chad drive naked but that he was going to get naked too. Chad was boned up before Brad had even stopped the car.